Sara,
Unfortunately, you seem to be clinging to an understanding of the purpose and the process of accommodation that will be problematic for you, as an instructor, and (potentially) problematic for students with disabilities in your classes. Accommodations, provided appropriately, would not disrupt a whole classroom. Small group discussions regarding the student's need would never occur in front of others, so would not interfere with anything that happens for other students in the classroom. As far as
bending over backwards" -- I am not sure what that suggests. But if your intent is that instructors should not be asked to… >>>