I think that you can become too friendly with your students, but you need to know how to bring friendship into the class and that way they know that if they have a problem with what ever issue it is that they can come to you. This way they trust you and in the same time you can have fun in class and still be able to discipline when necessary. I have an example, I have students that are in extership now, and these students know that they can come to me with what ever problem that they have. Two of my students are not showing up for the externship hours and the director at the office called me to let me know. I called these two students and let them know this was unacceptable and they could be dismissed from the program if they did not get to that office and get with the director. They both knew I meant business and they both said they were sorry and that they respected me for getting on to them. So you can be friendly with the students but be the instructor that shows discipline at the same time.
I have taught for a few years and I used to be fun and easy with the students but I learned that you can be little of both. You can show them friendship to have some fun in class and discipline. By combining both you can have a fun class and earn respect at the same time.
Hi Yolanda,
Good approach. I tell my students I will be your friend but I will not be your pal, because I can't. The reason I can't is that I'not your age, are positions in life are different and I'm not in your cohart group (student status). Thus, I will be supportive of you as I can, and help you but not hang with you. With this being said I have not had any problems with student relationships. They know I respect them and want to build rapport with them so I can help them become professionals. That is my responsibility.
Gary
Hi David,
Great advice for instructors.
Gary
Hi Jason,
Good question and one that is common for many beginning instructors. The answer comes from your own analysis of your relationship with your students. Define what you see "too friendly" as being and then look for areas in which you see yourself as being too friendly. You may find that you really have nothing to worry about. It is only your perspective that makes you feel you are being too friendly. The second part of defining your relationship with your students comes in the area of class management and respect. If you find that you are having a difficult time in getting the attention of your students or they are disrespecting you, then you need to distance yourself from your students and regain their respect. If you are having class management issues you need to analysis when the problems are occurring and then change procedures to stop the behaviors that are occurring.
Hope this helps. If you have any other questions along this topic please let me know.
Gary
I think it is ok to be friendly, however, you can control the level of your relationships with your students. I am very friendly with my students mainly because they are my customers.
However, I maintain a strict professional boundry by not being too personal. I don't discuss my finances, personal relationships etc.
I don't ask them too many personal questions, when inquiring about their well-being, I keep it as general as possible. "Is everything ok? If there is a problem, I let them know that "we" myself and the school can support them the best we can.
I hope this helps.
Yolanda
i have found one of the best ways I have avoided this pitfall is to dress appropriately, use proper language in class and to never let them know anything personal in my life. Remember you are the expert, the instructor and the authorative figure.
i understand what you mean.
