The Friend vs. Pal dynamic
Early on in my teaching career (clear back a year and a half ago! LOL), I think I tried too hard to be "one of them" and not be the teacher, per se. Funny, too, that I am not your typical just-graduated-from-college 20-something, but rather I am a mid-50' veteran of the newspaper wars. So I think my efforts to be "cool" can be attributed to the age factor. Now, I am finding it much easier to be their fiend in a teach-appropriate way without crossing that line of being their "pal" but it took me a few cycles of students and a couple of bad experiences with students who were a bit too clingy (needy) to see where that appropriate line is to be drawn. I find these days if you take even a few minutes just to get to know them, to learn about their problems and their hopes and such, that's really all they are looking for from you, the teacher. They need to know that their partner in their educational adventure is on board and there for them, not that they are there because they got tirted of going to work every day and teaching is just easier (there actually are fools out therte who believe that!) ... I love teaching, and it is my relationships with my students that make my job so rewarding.
Just my thoughts ...
John Bryan
Well put John. Having been a Department Chair for nine years I have seen the "pal" folly in several young instructors.
There is another interesting dynamic now with young instructors. The Gen Y (below 25) students see the gen X instructor as an older sibling and do not always want to obey this "older brother" (or sister). It will be interesting to see how these generational differences work out over the next few years.
Hi Esteban,
Good comments about developing rapport with students. This is an essential element of keeping learning student focused and engaging.
Gary
Professional relationships with students are very important for your success as a teacher and the student. Being able to listen is a skill that not too many people have. The students' state of mind is sometimes a bit complex; they do not know how to cope with problems, feeling, values etc… Attitudes affect the students' ability to learn and it is unrelated to aptitude. Being cool is ok in a professional setting; this is one way students will open up to you without being pals. Thank you for listening I'm sure your students appreciate everything you do for them.
Hi Jared,
Right you are. You can be a professional friend and support to and for your students but never a pal. It never works. Well said.
Gary
In the institution I work in I see alot of new instructor try to be pals with their students. This always causes some problems in the course. I think you have to be freindly and show an intrest in the students learning objectives, but you cannot be their pal.
Hi Olga,
Great to hear about how much you enjoy teaching. What are some of the things about teaching that keep you excited about your work.
Gary
This is exactly what i was doing when i first started teaching. I found out that many of them ARE too needy. What i do now is to just know enough to know them but do not get really into their business. I really enjoy my students and love teaching.
Hi Kathleen,
You make a very good point. Those teachers that have problems in developing rapport with students will constantly struggle to keep the students focused and moving forward. These are the teachers that we work with to give them easy to do activities that help them to become a part of the learning process rather than just a talking head.
Gary
Among our faculty, we have a variety of personalities. The students love the warm-hearted, whimsical teachers who make class fun and always show concern for each student. The problem arises with the teachers who do not have certain people skills. it is hard for those teachers to inspire students when they are more wrapped up in their own grandeur.
I try to relate to my students by using real-life examples to get them interested.
I agree with John on :The Friend vs Pal Dynamic.
Teaching young student( mostly female) can be challenging, they instantly size you up and down. What has really helped me is introducing myself, personally with a hand shake and direct eye contact with each student, as I give them their syllabus. This a one on one contact,help builds a relationship between student and teacher. They seemed surpised at first, but impressed also. It creates a feeling of security and comfort. (WOW,she really wants to meet me) and in taking the time to say Hi and Welcome to this class, It all about relationship building. When you have a that, the 1st day jitters take a back seat! You build respect and trust. Victoria Holbus
HI John,
You did an excellent job of laying out the boundaries for instructors and students. Your personal example will help new instructors to find their own method of dealing with students and creating relationships that are professional and supportive for students.
Gary
