Instructor as "pal" with ex-student
Regarding the lesson about being a friend vs. being a pal, I agree that being too chummy can be dangerous and blurs the professionalism line, not to mention the impartiality one needs in a classroom environment. But I believe developing closer friendships with ex-students is acceptable. Once you no longer have sway over their grades or them meeting the requirements of your course, there's really nothing to prevent deeper friendships from forming, especially if said friendships lead to professional projects together.
Phyllis,
This is the human factor in teaching that helps to earn their respect and start the development of rapport.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I agree with you 100%. It is important that you treat all students the same, but you also need to be warm and empathetic with all of them.
its great to visit with students in there careers and find out how much the knowledge they recieved guided them along there way. many of the students also look forward to rides and industry events with the old teach.
William,
Good advice for younger faculty as they strive to develop their professional image and style for working with students.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I run into the same issues, at 28 years old, many of my students are my age or close to it. I do maintain a professional relationship with all of my current students, but I also encourage any of them to come to me if they have any issues at all in life.
Sometimes just being a set of ears to listen to a student with an issue is enough to satisfy them and motivate them to continue on as an even better student. Maintain a balance and you shouldn't have any issues. Treating them like a number instantly yields a negative response. Being on a first name basis with a students instantly yields resentment from the remaining student population.
Hetty,
You raise a good question about maintaining boundary lines with students. I think it is better to keep a professional distance than get too close to the students and then have to back away.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
I've seen this at play numerous times. A colleague of mine mistakenly gave out her Facebook info to a few students and it spiraled out of control. Personally I think Facebook should be off limits between instructors and students because it can be intrinsically dangerous not to mention unprofessional. It is hard to know where to draw the line between this and maintaining professional ties with students
Kevin,
I like to connect with alumni for the reasons you listed. I enjoy learning about their career successes and the rapport we establish.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
Many of my former students seek out my feedback/critique on their work. This is because we have developed a sense of professional trust. In terms of "pal" I would view this as blurring the lines of professionalism while teaching. I am happy to connect with alumni in a professional capacity and feel that is the most beneficial outcome for all.
Brenda,
Right you are. It is easier and more simple for everyone with this kind of approach. This way everyone can focus on the course rather than being concerned if they are a favorite of the teacher or not.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
Actually, it's not jus been capable of being impartial... it's also about how the other students and colleagees perceive you. If you become too fiendly with a student or like in some instances, the student becomes too friendly others would believe that you might be more flexible with the grading with that person even when that is not true. So, the best way to aviod these kind of problems is by keeping a professional relationship with everyone.
Rhonda,
Set the stage bu laying out your expectations both in class as well as before and after. Be consistent in enforcing your expectations and make sure the students understand they are your expectations. This means you are not going to let what other instructors do or don't do influence the standards you have set for yourself and your students. This will take a while but the results will be worth it.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
An additional problem that I've encountered when an instructor is seen as a "pal" is the effect it has on the relationship between students and other instructors who keep that professional distance, as I do. One instructor had been allowing his students to call him by his first name after hours. Students then come to my class, thinking at the conclusion of the class (2 pm) they can address me on a different level. I even had a few use profanity and then replied, "Well it's not during class time." I do have some students arrive in my business class resenting the student-instructor boundaries. Any tips besides setting the stage at the first class?
Carmen,
To me this is a great way of showing your students respect but keeping them at the required professional distance until they graduate. Then they are your colleagues and the relationships are different.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
I believed as an instructor it is imperative to keep that distance between the students and yourself as an instructor. For me is very important because I have students of my same age or older and they tried the first day to be my "pal" and I have to redirect them by reminding them I am their instructor but once they graduate and become certified in the field then and just then they are my colleagues and they can call me by my first name if they want to and we could even have a friendship.
Terry,
Right you are and we need to always keep this in mind as we work with students.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
I think attending things to honor a student is great, there is a big difference between this and being their pal which is not professional.
Alana,
I support your position because I to value these new professionals and I want to support their career growth in anyway I can. I have ended up working with many of them over the years and as a result of our rapport it has gone very well.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
Melissa,
Good question and one that each instructor needs to mull over in their mind as they decide about attending certain function. Over the years I have attended many such events in honor of my students. All the events I attended occurred after the students had left my courses and/or program so there was not connection between me and any grade they might receive. I see this as a part of the rapport I have developed with another professional that is moving forward in his/her career. I have just completed a round of receptions for our graduates and their families really appreciated me coming to their homes and spending some time with them in honor of their son or daughter, wife or husband.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
