rapport and boudaries
what is the line between building rapport and crossing personla boundaries?? the line is thin and often hard to manage at times
sometimes we have to be careful in building rapport with a student and not cross the boundaries of getting to personal with them this is a thin line sometime so again I would refer them to the student service department
Cynthia,
You make a very good point about boundaries and support. Both are needed to help students be successful in class.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Instructors need to know the difference between having a good in class relationship with their students, and being their friend. Sometimes situations may arise when our empathy turns into sympathy, this can lead to boundaries being crossed. We are here to teach them not be their social worker, this should be discussed at the very beginning of the module.
Elizabeth,
One of my strategies regarding building rapport include the relevance of the dialogue. If the conversation regards to the content of the material, and will assist the students in their professional endeavors, then I find that it builds rapport. Once the dialogue starts to gravitate towards concepts that are not relevant to the course or that do not have a direct association to the course, then that is simply personal dialogue, and I find that it is outside of the context of the course material. What are your thoughts?
Leslie,
Thank you for this excellent analysis on how to build and understand the boundaries related to establishing rapport with students. Your points are well made in terms of understanding professionally how we can interact with students and maintain the needed distance to remain their learning leader.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I think that building rapport with your students is critical to their academic success and retention efforts. However, as you posted, there is a very thin line in relation to crossing personal boundaries. An instructor can very well compromise ethical standards if they are not careful. Our organization has very strict guidelines and rules that instructional staff must follow in order to keep this from happening. But even with these rules and guidelines in place, it ultimately falls on the integrity and the judgment of each individual instructor. But I think that if clear guidelines are established, the instructor has to assume accountability for his/her actions if those ethical boundaries are crossed. If there are no clear guidelines established by your organization, then the responsibility is assumed by the organization and the individual instructor.
Instructors with a vast amount of character and integrity will know where the line is. I always say if it doesn't "feel" right, it probably isn't.
Arturo,
As the learning leader this is important to do. By letting them know your expectations and boundaries right up front the students can get settled into the course and be ready to be active learners.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I set my boundaries while building rapport with my students this way we both know our boundaries and stay with in them so things don't get out of hand.
Daniel,
This is an example of reading the class and letting them expand their abilities in terms of critical thinking and group sharing. These can be valuable sessions when managed by the learning leader.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
What I like to do is let the students decide their bounderies. Sometimes students may want to share something that helps the whole class but is not something you would normally ask them to share.
Hi Elizabeth,
If it were not for some student’s drama, classes would run much smoother. In my situation, I am with the students for 3 hours, 4 days a week. I came into the program this past July, which put me behind the curve as the past instruct ran the class very loosely and wanted to be everyone’s friend. It has been difficult to establish academic boundaries and not let the drama of a few, dictate the direction of the classroom. I have professional empathy for the students, not personal, I feel that makes the difference for me in keeping my sanity.
LaShondra,
If your college has a Student Assistance Office I would do a referral for her. The office hopefully will be able to help her with her life issues and then she can concentrate on her studies and continue forward progress with her career development. If that is not possible try to let her know that you are there to support her and that she has your respect in terms of her being willing to continue her schooling. Sometimes just knowing a person in authority like an instructor cares about her is enough to help her work through her challenges.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I find that the boundaries of the student , interfere with trying to gain the needed rapport. I'm I the only one? I have only seen this in one student so far, do we just back off? I really would like to help her more, I know she is dealing with a lot of outside issues, and it does affect how she is in class. How would we handle this situation?
MorningStar,
Good advice for instructors to follow. They need to show the human side but also make sure that they maintain the boundaries needed so the students see them as professional educators and not buddies.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
This is always a tricky issue. It is important to bulid the rapport with students but not get involved with the personal aspect with their lives. It is easy to get sucked in but it is important to not get involved too much. Be supportive and keep them focused on education.
Shari,
Thank you for these comments on student interact and boundaries. I think you are right on by setting limits to when you are available. By doing so you are sending a message to your students that they need to respect you and your personal life while still letting them know that you are there to support them as needed. You are right about the need to listen to students. Listen is one of the most powerful teaching tools you can use because it shows you care enough to listen to a student. This is the foundation for respect and rapport.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Keeping our boundaries while establishing a rapport with our students can be a bit tricky. I let my students know that I am there for them yet I do set boundaries. Such as office hours. I will not answer calls or texts after say 6 pm unless it is actually an emergency with the student. They understand and seem to respect my request on this. Some of my students don't have anyone else to talk to. I try to practice good listening skills and sometimes they just need someone listen and let them know they care. I do not find that this crosses any boundaries. They know that I am strict, fair and will fight for them and they seem to respect me because of that.
I am often asked personal questions from my students such as "Where do you live?" "How old are you?" "Are you married?" "Do you have kids?" I never answer most of these questions because I find that they distract students from their career goal. But I never embarass students either as I avoid their questions and will often answer nicely with the statement, "I think we're beginning to stray a little from the topic, and really want you to succeed on tomorrow's test."
Mo,
This is an ongoing challenge but as the learning leader we need to make sure our students know that we are there to help them move toward their career goals and that is where our interaction stops.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
