Terra,
Listening is a key for both parties when it becomes a stressful situation. 87% of our communication is carried out by good listnening. It is true in most cases we are more alike than different.
This is so true. It took a while before we talked and our work relationship was starting to strain. Since we sat down and told each other what is needed from the other, it has been much better. We have to same goal, just have different jobs to achieve within that goal.
Terra,
Communicating is often the best answer. We go on with our problems and don't share the issue with the right people. Communication is 87% listening, 7% vocal and 6% body language. If we can master each of these in the right portions we will succeed in solving many issues.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I ran into a problem with a co-worker. After some time tension had built up between us. We talked to figured out the best way to solve each of our issues depending on what each of us needed. This is an example of different perceptions. Now that we are on the same page, things between us have become much better. Thanks - Terra
Tammy,
You are on the right track. The key to listening is not to raise your own emotions but stay calm and in control. This will allow the person to get everything out in the open.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Sometimes it's hard to get to the core of the problem. The process I follow is to ask questions for clarity, let them talk, then summarize or paraphrase what they said. Once the other person has had a chance to vent, I can usually get to the heart of the matter by asking further questions. Often what seems huge is really something small when you can drill down to the core issue.
Marlina,
You are exactly correct. To understand someone you need to know why they are reacting or acting like they do. This is behavior management by how they respond. Listening is 87% of communication.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I have a favorite saying that I have taped to my computer screen:
Seek first to understand, then be understood.
Also, remembering that people are inherently good and have value to share helps us to recognize that most of the time people are doing their best in a given situation.
cindy,
Yelling creates an environment of avoidance by the employees. Employees become aware of the technique they become hardened and it has little affect on them.
Dr. Gary Carlson
cindy,
Great approach. Once the parties know you are fair and will respond accordingly you get to a solution.
Dr. Gary Carlson
First off yelling does not do anything for the person it can really set the tone for the response or for how that person is going to react. I think keeping calm and not raising you level is good it is not always easy to do especially if that person is persistently having the same issue and not correcting it.
I have done the same think interviewed both parties and attempted to find the root of the problem. Listening is important especially when they both have two different ways of doing things. One think that works for me is knowing the person well enough to know how they are going to react. By knowing them well enough I can kind of help them understand each persons view and why they think that way. One thing that our company does is a personality style test which I feel is helpful not only to the managers but to the staff because you learn how to approach someone who may have conlfict with your personality style or with there style.
Pamela,
Good for you. You have found what works for you. This takes talent on your part to have people see you as consistent and fair with your direct reports. Sometimes this may cause jealousy with some unless you are always fair and consistent with every like issue.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Dr. Carlson,
I handle difficult interactions with others in the workplace by trying to see their point of view. I also try to ask myself how am I perceived by them. I currently have 6 team members who work for me and I try to treat them with the respect they deserve on a daily basis. I have learned from this course that I do need to delegate more to them and this will elevate their confidence in the workplace as well as alleviate stress and a big workload for me. I find that when I am noticing that they are stressed and that this could potentially lead to a disagreement with other team members, I ask them to step into my office to vent and destress. I give them time to explain their side of the story and why they are stressed and then I try calmly to encourage them to sit down with the other team member and calmly discuss their issues. This goes back to people's perceptions and how easy it is to make quick judgements. Then, we all meet to discuss a corrective plan of action that works for both parties. I believe that this is working because conflicts are becoming less and less over the past 5 years.
Pam
Tracy,
Communication is primarily made up of listening. Good communication is 87% listening. So! the best we can do is listen first then speak.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Effective communication between managers and staff is so important. I always listen to both sides of a story before making any decisions. I also consult with my peers to get their opinions.
Kourtnee,
Communication is key to success in any work related relationship. 87% of communication is listening. It sounds like everyone listened and an agreeable outcome was set.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I will go to my supervisor and the their supervisor to express the issue. Once we did that we come up with a plan to work for our different work styles.
rebecca,
Listening is a big part of the process of conflict management. When we can show the concern and listen to the parties it immediately brings down the emotion. The key to your leadership is never rise to their level of emotion about the issue. Remain a leader and be able to step back and give good judgement and praise if appropriate.
Dr. Gary Carlson
First I think it is paramountly important to never ignore it. It always warrants pause and consideration. Initially I'd ask for more information from both parties and see if I can't faciliate a meeting of the minds by giving suggestions for each to take into a conversation between the two of them. If that doesn't work, I hold a meeting with the three of us, setting ground rules such as the goal is resolution, none of us are "right or wrong" and we will listen entirely to each person speak, paraphrase what was heard, and then respond. It usually works like a charm. Many times I find people just really need to be heard, appreciated and given the tools to use to better communicate with peers.
