Melissa,
Issues need to be dealt with directly. If this doesn't work then have a meeting with the person and have your direct supervisor attend. When both of these fail there is no choice but to take formal steps about any unappropriate behaviours.
Dr. Gary Carlson
First, I try to think about the situation that took place. The go to that person to begin resolving any misunderstandings or conflict. If that step doen' work give it time to see what happens, for things to resolve themselves and then go to my direct supervisor. Usually if a situation has come up, dealing directly with that person has been the best option and worked for me.
Isabel,
Behavior often the result from past experiences. Understanding what could be the culprit of inappropriate behavior is to respond to the behavior differently than they would expect.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I do not have a specific process that is involved in every difficult interaction but rather I try to observe and let that be a guide as to how to proceed. First, I look at the personality type of the employee and/or past experiences with this particular employee and decide which method of problem solving would work best.
I also evaluate what the end goals are for the two of us and where the conflict is stemming from.
Based on that I tailor my response, but usually I can state that I explain my position on the situation and allow for them to do so and suggest "How can we be more effective from here on"
Thomas,
Focus on the vision not the rocks in the road.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I have found that if it is not something that has to be dealt with immediately, I ask the employees involved to come back later in the day or if it is late in the day, to set up a time to meet the next day. A lot of times one or both will realize that they may have over reacted and the situation resolves itself. If we still need to meet to resolve the issue, I always have all parties involved meet and discuss the issue on terms not involving blame. This gives each employee time to listen to each others issue and it may clear up misunderstandings that were not verbalized in the heat of a disagreement. Most issues I have dealt with can be taken care of in this manner.
Karen,
I would try to work with this person but if their behavior affects your performance I would explain the circumstance to them. I would explain the only choice they were giving you would be to talk to your supervisor.
Dr. Gary Carlson
If I am involved in a difficult interaction due to personality conflict in the workplace, I am quiet which I am usually outgoing and friendly. I would rather ignore or avoid an unnecessary situation. (or just listen). It doesn't seem worth the energy to me to constantly disagree.
RE: Document request
If the difficult interaction is work related and intentionally affects my job responsibilities, I would be patient a few days to see if I obtain the requested information. If not, I would email the person a "friendly reminder" and wait a few more days. If I still got not response I would bring the timeline to a superior kindly asking for advice. My job still needs to be done, bottom line.
It seems the "friendly reminder" via email gets the response.
Nina,
Understanding behavior management is how to deal with all communication. Each person is definitely different. Knowing how to relate to the diversity you can deal successfully with the individuals.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I do not necessarily have a "one way fits all" approach, but there is definitely a thought process that is involved in every difficult interaction. First, I look at the personality type of the employee and/or past experiences with this particular employee and decide which method of problem solving would work best. Those who tend to be defensive tend to repond better to humor and not direct confrontation. Others respond well to the direct approach as they are confident employees and are here to better themselves. They want to know what they are doing wrong. Some are better addressed by using written communication rather than verbal communication.
Evelyn ,
Resloving issues is best when you become a good mediator. When people can get good advice and let them resolve the conflict with a positive attitude.
Dr. Gary Carlson
When I had this issue in the workplace I brought the two individuals together and explained my observations and gave them suggestions on how to resolve their issues. I told them that we would meet in two weeks and that I expected each of them to have a game plan on why and how the situation could be resolved. I then suggested they exchanged their plans with each other.
Gina,
You handled this very well. It is good to have a listening ear. After your discussion you agreed to move forward. This enhances your team and trust with the team.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I've had a conflict of interest with a co-worker in the past about how to implement a new process. We were able to sit down at a pre-scheduled time (I don’t believe it’s a good idea to spring into conversation on the spot) and discuss the issue by identifying both viewpoints and determine the best interest of those affected. We were able to brainstorm in a healthy manner and came to a consensual conclusion. By understanding each other’s differences, we respect both ideas & we are able to work well as a team.
Alexandra,
Keeping an open mind is not easy but is a necessity to make your people understand your unbiased opinion is genuine.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Suzanne,
Sorry for being late on my response. I have been traveling and haven't got to a computer. As our industry becomes even more regulated than in the past it is sometimes hard for our people to understand the necessity to follow the rules. It is important we always communicate three majors areas. Student customer service, quality programs and compliance are all must in our business of education.
Dr. Gary Carlson
It is also important to be mindful of your own biasesejudices so you don't unduly influence your listening. Be aware of words that might trigger an overly emotional reaction.
First, if someone confronts about a misunderstanding or about confusion they have regarding the FA Process I:
1. Actively listen to their issue - this allows them to vent and calms them somewhat
2. I paraphrase what I believe they are trying to communicate and have them correct me if I misunderstood
3. I emphathize with them and let them know that they are not the only one's who feel this way
4. I explain the Dept of Ed's regulations by providing Dear Colleague Letters, showing them where to find the regulations regarding their issue of concer
5. I provide all their options they are eligible for based on compliance with the DOE regulations.
For the most part, this tends to deflate the situation once they see we are following DOE regulations but still giving them options within compliance.
Mark,
Listening is the key to great communication. If we listen correctly we can say the right things to move the conversation in a productive way. Another great virtue to communication is patience. We need to be able to read beweent the lines.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I like to stay quiet and listen: The first step I take in getting through difficult situations and moving to a reasonable conclusion is to listen carefully, and say very little. Remembering that even though the position of the person being difficult may be unclear or seem irrational, to that individual, it is clear, important, and likely has, at its base, some real concern, frustration, issue, or problem. Not speaking also prevents myself from saying anything I might regret, and allows myself to stay neutral and calm.
