William, I too include the 3rd party be it friend/parent into the conversation. They will undoubtedly be part of the students support system in some way & if we disrespect them, we are disrepecting the prospective student. When a 3rd party is present, I will always congratulate the student on bringing them to the meeting. First reason is they will be the 2nd set of ears for later discussion @ home. Second, they tend to ask questions that the prospective student may not think of but is important in the process of their education.
William,
It's about making a connection of trust.
Elisa,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. We have all learned from you.
Andrea,
WOnderful advice! Thank you for posting.
Stephanie,
Third parties can be very helpful. It is not always a negative experience.
Melanie,
It begins as an inquiry and ends with a decision.
I think that asking a number of questions up front is the right way to approach these situations. It may also help the student's guest rethink his/her role or reason for being there.
Milagros,
I am anxious to hear others respond. Every situation takes a diplomatic response.
I have so many of those on a regular basis. Usually I address them first asking them question like, Are you here with them because he/she is a minor? When making a decission to enroll or not enroll in one of our programs your opinion is going to be takien under consideration? Do you have any questions or concerns I should be aware of before I start? Would you please let me know once I have finished with the presentation if I have not covered an specific area of your concern? Do you think that by you be here today, your relative will feel more secure or are you the person sujesting your relative to visit our institution and if so what are the motives?
The reason I do this is to make sure that the prospective student sitting in front of me is there because he/she wants and is interested in one of our programs not because someone else thinks or believe he/she should be atttending school instead of being doing something that they dont approve. Once I clear the view of why they are all sitting in front of me, then I address the prospective student and begin explaining the program. By the end of the tour of our institution I already have an idea who is the one making the decission and if I feel is not the prospective student, I will schedule a second visit to review the documents necessary for enrollment, if they are really interested they will show up if not, it just proved me that my feelings were right and I avoided a prospective drop.
I try to turn them around. I do this by including them and their comments in the conversation, but maintain control over the flow of the conversation by BREIFly repeating their comment and directing and asking for a responce from the prospective student. Confrontation would turn both the loudmouth and prospect off, so I give creadence to the loudmounth, but never loose control of the flow and time. By directly and quickly asking the student for a responce the loudmouth is not allowed to continue and after a few breif exchanges often becomes your best Bud as you are speaking the same language and share the same concerns for the prospective students wellfare.
Joel,
Many people don't realize that they have taken it to a new level. Kindly bringing them down to the level of discovery is an art.
Cesar,
You have personal experience that helps you handle the situation.
That is a great ideal Bob! You may want to share this approach with your team mates. It is really interesting to note that we don't see "loudmouths" often, although it would be helpful to know an option for adressing them when we do!
Janice
I agree with you Andrea, I had an overbearing mother who worked at another instition. I gently resonded to her concerns, however it wasn't until we found somenthing her son was really interested in that she took a back seat. She was really surprised at my patience with dealing with her and her son. In the end, I gained her respect and her sons because she really wanted him to go into a feild he was not interested in intially.
I have had "overbearing parents," as matter of fact my mother is one. I guess that is why I understand why they behave in such a manner and I am able to help the student in spite of their protector. After all, if you analyze the situation, the self appointed protector is behaving in such a manner because he/she has concerns. Until these concerns are put to rest, one can not continue.
When I get started and feel that I will be continually interupted, I stop and say that we have a presentation set in place and it is developed so that most or all questions should be addressed in it. If you have further questions, we can address them at the end.
In the past when I have dealt with this type of situation, I ask the third party directly what their hesitation may be. The best way to get them on your side is to draw out their concerns so that you may address them immediately. They could have had a bad experience with a similar institution and expect the same experience with yours... Or they may have heard a story from a friend/coworker about your institution. You have to understand where they are coming from and from where the hostility originates.
We have the third party alot at our institute as well. We always encourage our potential students to bring their parents or someone that can support them in their decision.
Robert,
Dealing with third-parties always brings interesting dynamics and a challenge to the rep. Each situation will require a different approach.
