Parents
What is the best way to approach a teens parents that will not speak to you?
It is important that there is a rapport with students and parents alike but it is also important to convey, in a respectful manner, that the student is entering college and needs to handle different situations on his/her own. We can reassure them that we are there to assist and help in any way possible.
Communicating with both the student and their parents can be a balancing act during an interview, and maintaining open communication with everyone is important. Many times, as you mention Andrea, it helps to engage the student in facilitating the conversation, especially if a parent is involved in the decision making but can't visit the campus.
I believe the best way is to ask the student what they think but ask for the parent input also, so they dont feel left out of the conversation. Or get the student to ask the parent to confirm some of the answers of the question that you may be addressing.
Deborah, thanks for sharing this. It looks like you like to build rapport with the parents as well. I also like that you are listening to the parents too as sometimes they have a lot to do with the decision. Great job.
Dr. Jean Norris
Send an email breaking the ice, compliment them on their child. Then move on to inviting them to tour and discuss any concerns they have. LISTEN and keep an open mind.
brenda,
Your passion and dedication to your students and their families is evident. I also get the sense that you are committed to educating students about the choices they have in regards to their education. My guess is that you do your best to fully explore their options based on what they've got going on in their life. I imagine that the experience you create with your students and their parents is unlike any they've had before which is why they come back to you. Thank you for sharing some of your standards for good practice!
Dr. Jean Norris
Dr. Norris:
I continue to keep the channels to communication open by being cordial and respectful and receptive to their traditional ways of thinking. When I came out of H.S., my parents didn't consider community colleges or proprietary schools. Our Guidance counselors encouraged us from the beginning, to think about 4 year schools, exclusively and thats what we did.
It's equally important; that we coordinate our efforts with the H.S. guidance counselors for support and more options for the H.S. students that aren't interested in a 4 year school at this time. Everyone's learning style is different and it must be pointed out to the parent's that you understand how they feel; showing empathy and the ability to relate with their feelings and concerns. What I have found out over time, a "no" becomes a "yes". I have had students go on to colleges and a year later, the mom is calling me stating that their son or daughter is struggling in their classes or the student is discouraged and lost interst, because of the amount of time its taking before they touch the core of the curriculum. They eventually come back to me and enroll in our program and they do a great job! The student has been validated by their own performance,and they did not feel like a failure because they were not able to complete that particular program. What a wonderful feeling that is, and mom and dad couldn't be happier. In most cases, this is a strong foundation for the students to go back to school because now their working and they have tution reinbursement. I have students thatg are now RN's or their working at the VA and are in school to be Pharmacist. This was a strong foundation for them that became a win-win situation for them and their parents. It's just a matter of being patient and informative and let time be the determing factor. We're taught something for so long its hard to get out of that mold. When you just relax with people and you're not pushy and over anxious things just work out. Also, stability of staff is very important to parents and their children, there must be consistency and uniformity so there is no disrruption in the learning, or you'll have a learning gap because there too many changes in your teachers and staff. The first the mom said when she called here, is Ms., Dunbar still there? That meant a lot to her because she trusted me and I understood where she was coming from and didn't pre-judge the situation, I just went with the flow and left the final decision upo to her. One remark she made to me, was I wasn't pushy I allowed her to make her decision. Often times in our industry, you're pressured toi get numbers so you keep calling the same people over and over, thats a complete turn off. I do just the opposite reverse psychology and it works for me. Yes, I call them but I give them time to process what was said, how it was said, the tones, the energy the sincerity and the positive atmosphere here at the school.
brenda,
It sounds like preparation is the key for meeting your student's parents where they are it in the process. It also sounds like you realize the importance of building rapport with the student's parents in a addition to the student. How do you adapt in a situation where the parent isn't as receptive to your attempts to introduce them to your organization?
Dr. Jean Norris
I actually enjoy speaking with the parents and developing a trustworthy relatinship. When I have student's that have come to visit me me without a parent; I send them home with information,a catalog to share with mom and dad. I tell the potential student, to tell their parent's I'call them shortly after they've had time to reviewe the materials. I then call the parent's indicating how excited their child was during the inteview and how impressed I was, with the responses that Sharon gave me, which were mature and well thought out answers. I could tell that she had done her homework prior to coming to see me. I commend the parents for good parenting; now the ice is broken, mom now asked me questions, which I anticipated she would, and then I answer some basic questions so she does not feel that I'm avoiding her questions and then I tell her what I would like to do is personalize her visit with me and give her a tour of our school. Mom agrees.
Finding a common thread, is essential when trying to communicate with parents and you can't be intimidated because they may be older than you, you must make them feel that you're comfortable with them. You must allow them to also participate in the discussion because they're going to be taking out the student loans in most cases, for their minor child. You must be courteous extend a firm hand shake and have good eye contact. Know your stuff, do your research and have your information together and remember this is your expertise, this is your profession, don't be afraid or intimidated. When they leave your office they should have been enpowered, smiled along the way because you captured their attention and they weren't bored. Your words must be succinct, clear and to the point. Tones are everything as well as posture and your gestures.
It's amazing how parent's come in one way, with pre-conceived notions and they leave happy and informed and can't wait, until their child starts school here. Admissions sets the pace and tone for wahts to come. Create a positive energetic environment where the student and parent feels comfortable attending the school. The more comfortable you are as Admissions representative, the more comfortable the parents become and then they let down their guards. Parents want to know their child is going to get a quality education and their child is not just another number. So respond accordingly by addressing your exterships and placement. It's critical to address the parents concerns up front and with respect look them directly at the eyes so you're beliveable.
Thanks Elena. It looks like you would encourage the professor to communicate and be available for the student's parents when they are ready. Being flexible with your communication style is important here as people like to communicate in different ways (phone, face-to-face, e-mail). If you are able to tailor your style to match your customers, you may more than likely connect.
Shannon Gormley
This is where the communication skills in this course function. It is the instructor's role to approach the parent with this attidude and find out what is happening that causes this behavior, simply by approaching/calling the parent and make yourself available and willing to discuss whatever issue there may be.
Good question, Rachel. It sounds like it's important to you that you make a connection with the student and their parents, is that right? Developing a relationship with all parties that are invested in the process is essential. If the parents won't speak to you, is there another way that you can connect with them that might not require them to speak to directly until they're comfortable? What are some of the ideas that you have for connecting with your students' parents?
Shannon Gormley
