Today, let's talk about compulsive behavior - how it starts, and how to stop it.  

Are you compulsive about anything? Maybe you can't stand to be late or you have to make the beds before you leave the house. Have you ever thought about how you got that way or asked yourself what it costs you to continue?  

Suppose, for instance, that you are compulsively punctual. You probably got that way through fear feedback. Possibly, when you were young, you were trained to be on time by scolding or spanking or humiliation. What did you learn? "I can't be late, or awful things will happen." Now here you are at age 27, 37 or 57 and you are running a little late. You start to tense up and you think, "Oh man, I have got to get there on time." You don't think, "or else I'm going to get a spanking," because you're an adult now. However, you are still operating on a program that was installed when you were a kid. You are still trying to avoid punishment or humiliation.  

You know, the same computer that drives a submarine can run a school system, if you change its program. All you have to do, if you want to get off your own back, is deliberately change your program. Becoming aware of it is the first step. Deciding how to change it comes next.  

What will you tell yourself the next time you are breaking your neck to arrive on time? Why not affirm that it's OK to be a little late once in a while, because it's true. And then relax. You can do it.