How effective are you at getting your message across when you speak? If you think you could be better, I have a few pointers that may help.
Lou Tice spent a large part of his life talking about human behavior to people all over the world. Most of the public speaking he did was to large groups, but he also did quite a bit of one-on-one coaching. He learned what a lot of us have learned - that the actual words we say are only part of the picture when it comes to getting people to remember what we have said.
Whether you are speaking in front of a large group, to your kids, or with your boss - they aren't just listening to your words. Your non-verbal body language - what you are wearing, how you stand or sit, your posture, eye contact, tone of voice - all carry a strong message. For example, if you say, "Tell me about it" to your children, but don't stop what you are doing and you don't look directly at them, what you are really saying is, "You are not important enough to pay attention to."
Using your voice effectively is important, too. You can set the tone of a conversation by how loudly or softly you speak, and you can emphasize the parts you really want remembered by raising or lowering your voice. Of course, you already know about the impact of smiles and frowns. A smile usually means approval, openness and approachability. But even smiles can be threatening if they don't match the content of what you are saying.
Good communications has become a critical component of successful organizations. If you want to be a good communicator, pay attention not only to what you say, but also to the way you say it. That is often what will be remembered, long after the words themselves are forgotten.