dont be a pal
I am generally a nice person, very kind and anderstamdable. And it is very hard for me to keep the distance between me and my students.
Kari,
Setting boundaries in a situation like this is a challenge. I would talk with the folks involved and explain how you see the situation being handled. This way you are laying the groundwork rather than letting the dynamics evolve. I think by doing this a positive tone will be set for everyone. When you grade them is when the big issues may arise because they may not expect you to grade them on their efforts but on the fact that you all used to be co-workers. Good communication with them is going to help you a lot. I would also make it a practice not to discuss the class with them on the weekends. By maintaining separation between school and personal time your former co-workers will respect you for being a professional when needed and a buddy when appropriate.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I am a new instructor, and this is one area that I am concerned with. I am starting a new program at my school, and some of my old co-workers may be attending my program. These are individuals who I spend time with on weekends, text and call. How to I re-establish a professional boundary with these people? Do I put that fact that we are "Pals" on hold until the leave my program?
Hi Jane,
Great point and one that new instructors need to remember. We are there to do a job and that is teach our students the content and skills needed for career success. In that process we need to help them acquire the soft skills needed to be able to work with others.
Gary
Hi
You need to realize that the students look to you for direction and support in an educational sense. When you start to cross over the educational boundaries you are not REALLY providing your students what they seek and need...your leadership and direction.
It is great to let the students know that you care and are concerned,but by all means keep a professional distance. Remember, if you set the stage to become a PAL for some students and not all that can defintely backfire on you. The potential for the other students to become resentful does exist and may be interpreted as favoritism.
Good Luck,
Jane Spilko
Miller-Motte Technical College Instructor
Hi Heather,
Another great idea. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Gary
Hi Heather,
Thank you for sharing these strategies with us. It is amazing how acting like and presenting yourself as an experienced professional sets the tone for the class. You have found a successful formula for making this happen.
Gary
I had that same problem.
So, I created a grading scale for each day in class. It went from 10-0. 10 was if you read and were prepared, and could follow my instructions on the computer. 0 was if you played with a cell phone, surfed the web, bothered a classmate, swore, etc.
I started giving grades daily for class performacne, and if someone had a 0, I included a note about the reason for the 0.
When they saw my notes published along with the grades, the behavior totally stopped :):)
Many of my students are my age, and many have a hard time seeing the division line between student and instructor unless you are more than extremely clear about it.
To combat this, I did a few things:
1. Cut my hair into a short professional style
2. Dress in suits and jackets
3. Introduct myself to them as Mrs. Kirby, instead of by first name, which is and has been our school policy for many years.
After 2-3 terms of this, I must say that it's working. Students now keep our discussions to class-related material, they do not "whine" to me about their personal lives, or expect deadline extensions.
I have had the same students over a few semesters and it is always good to see a known face but I have learned that I have to be careful not to alienate my new students by being too talkative with students that I know. But I have to work at this and to be aware as to not let it happen.
Hi Ronald,
This is a good point about having students over a period of time and in several courses. By maintaining your professional approach you are showing your students a consistent model of what being an instructor is all about. Those that have not as well can see that you will treat them with respect but they are going to have to earn their grade by working hard and if they want to develop a closer relationship with you they can but it is up to them.
Gary
I generally see the same students in several classes, over the course of two years. When I get a student for a second time, they are more familiar and tend to close the distance. Since we've struggled together in a class, as teacher and student, there can't help but be some closeness. However, a student who has performed poorly or has had spotty attendance will usually keep a distance. I can be friendly with a student but still be very disciplined regarding the requirements of the course.
I could not agree more.You can be friendly with your students without being their friends.Keeping distance between teacher and students is a good habit, it also help respect each other.
Hi Tracey,
One thing you might want to do is as you conclude each discussion session is to review the objectives that were covered in the discussion. This way they will know that the discussion had a purpose rather than just a way to let them talk and use class time.
As for the use of your Dr. title. I understand about the not wanted such a formality in the workplace because of the relationships and in my setting all of us have those degrees. With students it is a different story and I have them use the title to set the boundaries plus it helps to create a sense of authority and leadership. This holds true for Mr., Miss, Ms, Mrs. and the last name. A sense of authority and leadership. The students will see that once they have completed their studies and entered the field they will be welcomed to the profession and can address fellow workers by their first names. It gives them something to work toward.
Gary
I have this same problem. I like my students to feel comfortable in class but sometimes I think they get too comfortable with me. I just had an issue last week where swearing was becoming a problem. Not a lot, but enough that it made me uncomfortable. So I had to say that like in the workplace we must keep the classroom free of unprofessional language. It was uncomfortable, but needed to be done.
I too have had the problem of running (at least what I see as a) relaxed course with ample discussion. The students are then surprised by the exams despite the (what I think are) clear learning objectives.
On a separate note.. do I have them call me 'Dr'? It's a formality I don't expect or want in the work place, but might it be helpful to set that boundry?
Hi Machel,
Good point. This approach will enable you to earn the respect of those that you are working with, instructors and students while maintaining control of the situation.
Gary
I agree. In my experiecne as A Director, there must be boundries placed in order to have that respect level from your staff. This reflects also when I am teaching students. If you have "friends" that are students, they may tend to take advatage of your authority. You may also have other students who percieve you as "favoring" the studnet you call a friend and this will ake for a very uncomforatble situation. It is best to set ground rules and be firm, yet fair at all times.
Hi Laura,
This approach should be very successful for you. One class completion will have the students putting the word out about how you operate and this will change the expectations of next group of students.
Gary
I have had problems over the past few years with students believing I was very relaxed in the classroom and assuming that would cross over into my grading. Sadly many students have turned in sub par work and then been surprised by their poor grades. This year I have tried to work around the issue by setting very clear goals at the beginning of every class and ending each class with a wrap-up and "final questions" so they know exactly what I expect of them. Hopefully this will transfer to better work on their part.
