friends vs. pals
I find this distinction to be very important. While I am very friendly with my students, and discuss all manner of subjects (both school-related and non-school-related) with them outside of class, I always politely decline any social inviations (the exception being social events that are auctioned off for charity or school organizations). I also maintain certain formalities; e.g., only using "Mr. X" or "Ms. X" to address my students, and requiring they address me as "Professor Leach."
Molly,
Good rule to follow. This keeps the relationship where it needs to be --professional.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
I also do not socialize with students outside of class until they have graduated. Also with social media being so huge, I do not accept Facebook friend invitations from current students.
Shirlow,
This is a critical point about how to manage a professional relationship with students. We need to be aware of how we are being perceived by students and make sure we always conduct ourselves as professional educators and not buddies.
Gary
Instructors teaching in adult institutions have a great responsibility. We have to constantly remind ourselves of the balance of being friendly, yet professional. I have seen instructors not set boundaries and losing respect from their students; once that's lost, it's difficult to instill discipline.
Cambria,
This will depend on how you want to develop the relationship. I have hired graduates of my program to work for me and I in turn have consulted with them. Once there is not an authority issue and the student has no involvement with the school except for being a alum then that individual is another person in the field that can be used as a resource.
Gary
I, too, liked the distinction between Friends and Pals. Teaching in adult education, I have met many students I would like to be Pals with, but have done my best to maintain the distinct line between student and instructor. I have recently transitioned between exclusively teaching and administration with some instructing and find the line easier to define now since my administrative duties clearly define my role as a liaison between the students and administration. My looming concern is once students graduate. Is it permissible to then pursue or accept a Pal who happens to be a former student?
Hi Eric,
I have also found setting professional boundaries with students helps to model professionalism!
Being a 'friend' can lead to students expecting an instructor to do things for them beyond the scope of the class offered. Be friendly, but make sure that the students understand that your role is to teach, not be a pal.
I also find this to be very important and challenging at times because my students and I are very close in age. I feel that they respect me but I also feel sometimes they are too comfortable with me. I also decline all social invitations. I let them all know from the beginning of the semester when they graduate we can be pals and I always try to be a professional role model. I'm not sure what else I can do?
Hi Eric,
Good advice for instructors to follow. This just reduces of any situations coming up that could be called into question. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Gary
