boundaries..i find it hard with students around my age
does anyone else find it difficult at times to establish boudaries. i find that i see my students more than my own family, so i find it difficult to not share personal experieneces and everyday life with them..its a good thing becuase they end up being extememly comfortable and i can relate to them. but the downside is you tend to lose respect and authority.
I like your last 2 sentences Daniel and wholeheartedly agree. A lot of times I feel a student will want personal approval from an instructor, but we as instructors need to keep that firm yet friendly distance from our students. I would, however, like to ask how common or uncommon it is for an instructor and a student or group of students to be "friends" after graduation? Does this happen often? Is it just a single student? Does the instructor or the student pursue the friendship after graduation?
Christopher,
This is a common challenge for new instructors. Establish yourself quickly as the learning leader and lay out the expectations you have for your students along with a clear and concise syllabus. Then you can interact with your students but they will know that you are a professional educator that is there to help them move toward their career goals and this should make it easier to set boundaries. Sounds like you have a good start already.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I definitely find this difficult. As a younger teacher it is important to be friendly and supportive, however it is essential to "pull back" and unfortunately sometimes be the "bad guy" and enforce policies, deadlines etc. to retain and maintain that respect and authority.
Wendy,
I think you have a very professional approach to how you present yourself to your students and offer them access when needed. Sharing your parts of past with your students is a good way to establish yourself as the learning leader as well as let them know you have the knowledge and expertise to be the instructor.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I really like that you specifically mention social media. I am rather new to teaching and personally would NEVER connect to students (current or former) on social media. I feel that it is a line that should not be crossed, personally. I would never want a current student to know that I am "friended" to a former student and expect the same treatment. I see a slippery slope forming in that scenario.
Also, many of you mentioned personal experiences. I think that sharing personal experiences with our students GREATLY enhances teaching. If we are teaching a career class (I am) and can relate our experience to the current lesson, the students will eat that story up! I know I did in my training!! I firmly believe it is our duty to share some of our pasts with our students.
I was taught to keep a very formal boundary with my students, however. I am addressed by my last name at all times. They are to make appointments for office hours and they understand this on the very first day. Expectations are laid out in the first hour of class on the first day. I stay firm and never waiver for any reason.
Ali,
Good way to establish you as the learning leader. Yes, you are there due to your expertise, knowledge and experience, age not with standing. They need to understand this and you need to help them to see the value of the course content in relation to their career plans. As a result everyone will do well in the course, you as the teacher and they as students.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I find that I have problems with students that are maybe coming straight out of highschool. My students can tell that I am young, it's obvious. But you have to keep in mind that you are there for a reason, and regardless at the end of the day you know more then they do. I share stories from my experience working in my field this helps lighten the mood, but I also make it clear that I deserve respect even if I am younger or around the same age as them.
Gustavo,
Good advice for all instructors to follow as they interact with students. As the learning leader you have to maintain such a distance in order to manage the class and promote learning.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Nartasha,
This is a very professional approach to take. You are blending personal experiences with content but in a context that brings value to the content and the supporting story.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
As Vinod mentioned, it is a fine line, but I find is easier to define. I am very friendly, but not a buddy of my students. I can advise them from personal matters (and I get a load of those) or professional and working matters. However, there is a minimum distance to keep... both in tone, language and geography (no parties, no Facebook, no LinkedIn). Regards.
I agree as well...It is a balancing act with students and boundaries. I know that I do share my personal experience but it is geared towards the subject...sometimes if a student have an experience that relates to the subject... I would used their personal experience (with permission) in how it relates to the subject....
Joshua,
You raise a good point about how to connect with students and yet keep the distance that is needed as the learning leader. Something we all need to remember as we step into our classrooms and labs.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I agree, I use personal "war stories" from the field I am teaching. It allows me to be able to connect with the students, while keeping in line with the subject matter. There's always one that feels like they are too comfortable with you and wants to press the limits a little bit though.
I cannot agree more. I think that finding an appropriate balance of the boundary is very important. I have developed a saying that I am not here to be your friend. I do not like or dislike students. My job is to be proud of or disappointed in you. If you want me to like or dislike you, lets talk after graduation.
I think it is a balancing act, a very careful balancing act. What I have done in my time teaching is either share humorous personal experiences or share personal experiences somehow related to the subject matter being taught. The humorous personal experiences can break the monotony of a class and inject some much needed life into a lecture. The personal experiences related to the subject matter can be very illuminating to students. It becomes a way of linking theory and practice. I say let them be comfortable with you, but not too comfortable. That being said I understand the inherent difficulty in figuring out the cutoff. I'm assuming it must be different for every instructor. I'm sure you will find your own comfort zone.
