Personal problems
It can be difficult for me to not interrupt when listening to a student complain about the challenges they face. When I first started I would want to talk about a time I had blah blah blah. I quickly learned though that the reason the student was talking to me wasn't necessarily for advice. Most of the they time the wanted to vent their frustrations and feel a sense of someone's listening, as well as receive a little encouragement. I found the key is to remain neutral, and positive.
Susan,
Thank you for these comment because through these comments you have demonstrated how we instructors serve other roles beyond just imparting content. We are helping our students with their social and career development skills as well. By listening and asking for out comes we are showing students that they need to be forward focused and not concentrate solely on the problems they are working through at the minute. They need to see that they are creating a future for themselves.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
This is an excellent thread. I agree with being a listening ear, setting a boundary so the "rant" doesn't go on for too long, and being solution-focused. I find demonstrating these traits often helps the student see someone modeling behavior that ultimately helps them in their personal situations.
Annshawn,
This not uncommon and I can really appreciate your comments because such a student takes a tremendous amount of time. In many cases students like this have learned to be dependent because when they play the this role less is asked of them. In addition, they love to talk about themselves. I talk with them privately and offer to provide all the support I can if they in term will put forth the effort needed to be successful in the class. If that does not work I have another talk and tell the student that they need to be referred to the Student Services office because the type of support they need is beyond what I am able to provide. I also tell them that they may want to step out of school until they gain control of their life situation that is affecting their school performance. I strive to make them understand that they are adults and have chosen to attend college they are not in high school where their hands will be held and requirements discounted. Generally these talks solve the situation or the students do step out for a while knowing that the school and myself is there to help them once they are ready to return.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I totally understand the concept of listening and I also understand that students need support. But, what happens if you have a student that needs a LOT of support? I mean when there is potentially a problem everday. I think this can be quite overwhelming as well. How do you handle this?
Wendy,
Good advice. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Not just re-diect, but validate. Empathize with how tough it must feel, then re-driect by asking what steps they can take
Rose,
These personal examples can helps students to see that they are not the only ones going through life challenges. Most of us have been where they are at one time or another and we made it. This way they can be inspired and challenged to stay in school and continue working toward their career goals.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
i catch myself doing the same thing with telling the student about my own experiences, I thought it would be a good way to let them know that they are not alone in there feelings and experiences but I will try this approach.Who knows It may work much better for me.
Suzanne,
Good point because they need to learn how to "leave it at the door" because they are going to have to when they are out working. The college classroom is a good place to develop this ability.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Emily,
There is a saying "Listening is Learning" and this is so true. By developing their listening skills the students will be able to accurately provide the support that the dentist requires while learning more about the needs of their patients.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
By allowing my students the avenue to air a grievance, frustration or get out what thier obstacles are, it allows them, to as I call it "leave it at the door" and focus on the task at hand.
Listening is very important, because we want our students to really know that we care about them. I tell my students that when they get into the dental field and start to see patients that they will need to listen without interupting. This helps the assistant (them) to communicate back to the Dr.
Jen,
You make a very good point about listening. I think it is very important to listen to your students and then as you say limit the listening so you can refocus the students and keep them engaged in the course. Otherwise you will be running a counseling center and not teaching the course.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Personal problems always exist, for everyone. You make a good point about listening. That's most often what a student needs: a little acknowledgement and support.
I also think it's important to listen, then redirect. It's easy to listen too much, and students always think they can dump their problems on you. It's important to help them recognize patterns, and have confidence that they can solve their own problems.
Best, Jen
Carlos,
Listening is such an important part of instructional success. Your points are good ones in relation to earning the respect of students.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I think sometimes students have the need to talk to us, as an intructor I need to listen to them to show them i care about each individual. Thats a great way to get their trust and their respect.
Billie,
This is the human factor in teaching. Students need this type of support so they will respect their instructor as well as start to develop rapport with him or her.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I too have realized that most students need an understanding ear to talk to. It's good if they kmow that thier teacher is someone that they can always count on.
Larry,
Listening is a valuable rapport developing tool for instructors to use. By listening you are showing you care about them individually and then you are able to move them forward in the course. I listen to my students but make it very clear I will not let them waste time by complaining and when they talk to me I want them share with me strategies they are going to use to keep up their work in the class.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
