Dealing with combative listeners
What is the best way to respond to listeners with a combative stance?
Hi Felicia,
Yes! Students want to be heard. They really feel a sense of importance when we listen to them.
Patricia Scales
I do exactly that, listen to them fully, it also show them their own behavior and that we really can listen to them.
Hi Sarah,
Sometimes we have to get students to understand that there are better ways of handling various situations. Our students need as much practice as possible on how to think out of the box.
Patricia Scales
I agree that asking questions about how a student might handle things differently is a good strategy. Once they've had a chance to fully express that I think it is important to acknowledge good points they may have brought up - that is not to listen combatively in return. Which is sometimes hard to do but helps to build the personal relationship that was discussed in other posts on this topic.
-Sarah
Hi Pamela,
I concur! Listening is key! Sometimes students simply want to be heard!
Patricia Scales
I have to agree. Listening to the student completely then asking then questions as to how they would handle each situation differently gives them the opportunity to be heard which many times can diffuse the attitude.
The combative listener is formulating their own argument and so are not hearing what is being said to them. The only way to get through to them is to let them vent their position, and begin to speak only when they have completed expressing their arguments.
Hi Elizabeth,
Some students do come in with the wrong preconceived ideas, and you have to really break them down to get their attention.
Patricia Scales
Since I teach in health care, so many students come in with preconceived ideas of what their role is to be and become upset at the reality of health care. Listening and asking them how they would meet the patients needs within the professional guilines is very useful.
Hi Alex,
I have realized over the years that even adult learners have fears, and some times their fears are even deeper than a child's because of all they have been through in life.
Patricia Scales
David, I like your take on the reasons behind the combativeness in combative listeners. Sometimes it is easy to overlook student's fear because they are adults. Another reason I have noticed is lack of knowledge on how to position your body when listening. I used to think I was listening intently to someone at previous jobs, when really I just looked angry (eyebrow positions, body positions). This is definitely learned over time and I think many of our students have not had the professional experience to develop this essential skill. I wish this could be taught in the classroom!
Thank you for the reminder that combativeness is often a marker of a student being worried or afraid and can be dealt with by helping them to recognize that fear and turn it into a constructive lesson.
Hi David,
Listening is key, and students love it when we listen passionately!
Patricia Scales
Initially I listen passively to the students, and after they have fully expressed themselves, I go back with them and analyze each of their points in a non-threatening way. Many times I've found their combativeness is just a defense mechanism, defending themselves against the fear of not understanding or against the fear of failing, by blaming something external to themselves. They have to recognize that fear, set it aside, and look internally for the solution to their problems.
Hi Michael,
I like the diplomatic approach taken here. No one likes to be told they were wrong.
Patricia Scales
I agree. Rolling with a combative student is usually a far better approach. "that's not how my grandmother made mole" can be used to enlarge the discussion, without saying that the classroom recipe is wrong.
Hi Jeffrey,
When you can find a common ground with your students, the relationship becomes stronger, and the student will fully respect you and value your opinion.
Patricia Scales
Hi Lisa,
We have to train our students according to what they are used to in order for them to fully understand what we are trying to teach them.
Patricia Scales
Hello,
I totally agree with Lisa. I also teach at a culinary school and I come into contact with many combative listeners. I have them lower their guard by talking about subjects that are more realative to them and finding a common ground. It may take a couple of instances, but it definitely works in the longrun.
usually, students who are automatically defensive are so because they have no confidence in their knowledge of the task. I teach at a cooking school and I try to relate what we are producing to something they or their families may have made at home. They all come from different backgrounds and every culture as their version of what is essentially a "hot pocket": Asian (egg rolls, dumplings), Hispanic (empanada, taco), Indain (samosa), etc. They usually feel more comfortable after I bring up these common things.
