I often start the semester with a discussion on how to study,locus of control,and examples of successful students and their habits. This seems to help many of the students. I have used journaling as extra credit to help students gain insight into their behavior.
One of the hard things to do is set defined specific unwaverable guidelines and adhear to them. Excuses abound and the pity factor, entitlement expectation and the list goes on and on, what soes not go on is the fact that deadlines are set for reasons and no excuse can cancel them out.
Adhearance to rules and regulations will be for the rest of the students life and failure to comply further validates the refusal to comply with social standards.
The good in everyone you speak of does not appear until an actual threat to life, limb and the continuance of life itself is presented. No one can define what is unacceptable bad and what is acceptable bad.
In the grand scheme of things an individuals own self image, beliefs, and values or-----lack of define the behavioral actions.
Again behavioral change can only occur if the individual accepts there is need for this change. Good, bad, or indifferent unless the individual recognizes that life can be so much be with compliance rather than defiance nothing can change them short of a literal epiphany.
I acknowledge that yes, perhaps someone else was responsible, but then I have them identify ways that they could have either prepared for this occurance or prevented it from having an impact on their ability to complete their work on time. Once they realize or admit that there were things they could have done to prevent a late assignment I let them know I will accept it but that they will still lose points for it's lateness.
I tell my students the first day of class there are several things that are going to happen during your classroom presence and involvement, participation being the key element. I have this statement and these saying that truely do come into play.
1. for every action there is a like or equal reaction equaling a consequence positive or negative.
2. through simplicity comes complexity.
3 think with the smart and not with the heart, emotional reaction only skew critical responses.
4. through caos comes order.
These elements are true to form as they progress throught the 100, and 200 series classes. This is support of their ability to assess, analyze and to determine the best outcome potential. The other thing I tell them is, I'm not going to change who you are; you will do that. I'm going to change the way you think and with this your whole life will forever be changed.
Dyslexic fingers doesn't help. I try to respond during work hours and have limited time. Sorry for the incorrect syntax from time to time.
Hi Trina,
I like your attitude! I do not care how bad a person is, there is some GOOD in that person. Focus on the good.
Patricia
Hi Lawrence,
Absolutely! Change has to come from the individual.
Patricia
this discussion is very helpful
We have to go back and revisit elementary learning. Per school domocillary atomspheres preomote or deny a child adequate support to be successful in life without that support and nurturing they become hapless dependant individuals believing that society will take care of them.
Behavioral changes only occur when one wishes to change.
I agree, very well said, humility takes you along way, but as instructors if we expect humbleness from our students than we have to be humble also, we can learn alot even from what we think is or appear to be a bad student....there is possibility in everybody, if there wasn't (possibility) they would not have taken the steps to be a student.
Directly and to the point. Make the accuser face those they accused and make them work it out. Having to face ones peers often brings about a much greater change than if I deal with it academically.
It's a little difficult to be bold when your facing them and not by long distance.
Hi Lawrence,
How do deal with students who shift blame to others?
Patricia
Although each situation the reality is that learned behavior prompts those responses.
Hi Mark,
Life is a big lesson learned. Students have to realize that they must take responsibility for their own actions. I like the finger pointing technique you utilize. It is so true.
Patricia
Hi Lawrence,
Great response! For some, it is a lot easier to shift blame than it is to accept responsibility for your own actions. It is a BIG person whenever one accepts full responsibility. Whenever I mess up, I fess up, and I keep it moving.
Patricia
I deal with it in a forum - me, the student and those the student has accused. The accuser has to defend their action to their peers and face the those that are supposedly responsible for that students failure.
Have you never notice that on mistaken collection phone calls how bold and brazen the individual is, but put that same person in a room eye to eye with me and they change their tune. It's too easy to blame others for their failings and to shuck responsibility to others in an attempt to play the victim hand.
That's all well and good but at some point one has to decide whether they want to live life as a victim or as a survivor. Life has multiple obstacles that none of us can foresee, if well could we would not take that path. Holding them responsible from the begining forces them to have to take responsibility for their actions. It is a little difficult to continue to lambast people when you are looking at them and know that there will be reprocussion from your actions.
Learn to identify, assess, and to correct, or at least diminish the threat on a step by step basis. The greatest failure in any situation is the refusal to communicate, good, bad, or indifferent lines of communications have to made available to all involve to gain final resolution. Live by the words you use against others and literaraly die by those words, not literally.
My initial response to a student's blame of others is to have them figuratively point to the individual or situation that they feel is causing them disturbance. When doing so they point their index finger and I ask them how many fingers do you have pointing back at you? And reluctangly they admit three. I use this figurative example to illustrate yes there may be circumstances where other individuals may place certain obstacles in your behalf but ultimately YOU are the one responsible for how you react to the obstacles. Regardless if another individual is to blame or not the onus is upon each individual to seek out ways to avoid or overcome difficult feats in their lives and make the best of the situation and most of all learn from it!
You have to look at this from a psychosocial aspect. the students home life has as much to do with this behavior as anything else. Individuals who behave badly, act out, or seek attention is because they experience an attention deficit. Not that they have an attention deficit, rather they experience one in their personal lives. Understanding the behavior in a cause and effect element provides a preliminary basis for being able to assess the best action potential for this student.
Why do childern behave the way they do, it is an adaptation for the behavior of a parent, guadian, or care taker that is mimiced because of have experienced a given outcome anticipated by the guardian. Realizing that that behavior resulted in something they wanted without great effort the child mimics it to accomplish the same goal. Behavioral changes can be accomplished but only if the student is aware that, that particular behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
Teaching is more than imparting of information, it is the a little bit of luck, a little magic, a little bit of genius, and a little bit of insanity all rolled into one.
Acknowledging the individuals existance and individual worth goes a long way in being able to adapt and to re-mold the individual into a more acceptable individual. Personality aside, the individuals own understanding of what is acceptable and what is not as an adult must be first and foremost to give credance to the efforts being taken to mentor the individual and provide them with an equal oppportunity for success.
Letting the student know that taking responsiblility for their own action is a learning process and will make them stronger in the long run. Out in the work force excepting consturctive critism will happen and how you respond can make or break you.
Conduct one on one sessions to review the sequence of events to show student that they too contributed to the outcome
Use stories or anecdotes to drive home points about accountability and responsibility
Counseling to empower students to take charge of their destiny
