I have been going through this with a current student not only does this person blame everyone else for her problems she is vey angry about it. I have spent time with her one on one and shared some of my life experiences with her. I told her that she cannot control what others do she can only control her reation to the situation.
I told her she has more power in her life than she thinks and she needs to take control.Once she takes control of her life then she can take all the credit for the successes as well.
Hi Barbara,
You have provided an excellent response. I can think of many peak performers that would really help serve as an eye opener to others.
Patricia
I agree with this point. As instructors, it is important for us to help students learn that there are consequences for behaviors and as pointed out in this course presentation, we need to model that and expect students to do quality work and meet deadlines. We need to penalize students fairly who do not meet deadlines but always be alert to true emergency situations that may keep students from meeting deadlines.
We also need to provide them with decision making models that will help them in making good decisions and seeing what heppens when the decision making process is faulty.
We need to help them see how good decisons lead to success in college, in the career world and in their lives. We need to also help them see how bad decision making will affect their lives.
We also need to talk about peak performers who take responsibility for their own actions and share examples.
Hi Deandra,
I like how you get invovled to find out your students game plan. By devloping a game plan, and the student falls short from not following the game plan, they can clearly see and understand, it is their fault. I tell my students plan your work, and work your plan.
Patricia
I try to inquire with the student as to what have they done and have them show me what work they have accomplished. I asks them what is their understandiing of the task and what plan of action are they using to complete the task. I make check list and have them use them as a guide so that they are aware of what they have done and where they are at with their completion of the task. They must take ownership of their work, and how the choice to guide the process.
Those students need to learn on becoming more responsible. I think it would be important to talk to them in private, let them express their frustration and give an explanation on why they need to blame other....I personally think they need guidance, focus and help.
Hi Mitch,
This generation is definitely made from a different thread. They must learn how to be responsible for their own actions. We must continue to work with them as best as we can.
Patricia
Students today are "mentally" maturing slower, but not physically. The very concept of accepting responsibility for themselves and their actions (or lack of it)is totally foreign to them. And yet, they want to "play" at being adults.
I believe everyone is responsible for their own choices in life. I am not afraid to say this to them and try to help them see that they need to take responsibility for what they are doing. Logical consequences for actions.
I belive that being empathic and listening to the student is beneficial. Sometimes students simply want to be heard and may voice their own self-doubts of success. His/her history can reveal the root of the issues, helping the instructor to change methods to effectively connect with the student.
In group assignments, grade each student individually on their part of the group project.
Hi Michael,
I love it! I was trying to remember this quote from years ago. Thanks for bringing it back to surface. It is one of my favorites, and it is so TRUE! I will share this with my students on Monday.
Patricia
Hi Thomas,
Great point! I like the example that you use with your students. The example is very easy to understand, and I am sure most students get it.
Patricia
It's really interesting that you put it that way Scott. I understand what you mean. I have found myself giving a little extra to the student that I see really putting forth a serious effort although the actual skill isn't there just yet.
I do get a little down myself when my expectations for the students aren't met. I notice that it kind of makes me second guess myself,which is horrible. I know that I am a good instructor but when things don't go right it makes you think, "What did I do wrong?" and the next thing you know you are second guessing yourself and your teaching ability.
I believe the students can sense when you doubt yourself, especially those blaming others students, and that alone leads to bigger problems.
Maintaining a professional distance will help. I've got to stop taking things personally. I will try to remember and work towards that.
I try to redirect the idea of blame back into something the individual understands better. Example: In Sports I could say, I am an expert at a specific sport. If I can not make any points or only a few points. I question them. Am I an expert? How long will you believe me when I make that statement?
On the first day of class, I write a quote from an anonymous source on the board. It reads, "Excuses are tools of the incompetent. They build monuments of nothingness, and people that use them seldom amount to anything." I've gotten great feedback from most of my students because of this, and some have even adopted it as their own philosophy.
Hi Tammy,
Some people are notorious for blaming others for their mistakes. All they know is to point the finger at someone else.
Patricia
Oh my gosh, Scott; that's horrible! And a perfect example of a student who's probably made a career out of blaming other people for his own mistakes.
On the very first day of class I go over the syllbus in great detail with the students and have them sign that they did read, understand the guidelines in the syllbus, and the student also gets a copy.
I feel strongly that I got my previous (first) teaching job because I went on a rant when I was asked how much responsibility I felt a student should take for his/her own education. I related that as a physical therapist's assistant, I had seen so many patients that had been successful in their rehab because they took it upon themselves to do their exercises, etc. Then there were those who didn't do anything for their health--just expected that the treatment interventions we provided would cure them--the were upset because they didn't get better.
The principle can be applied to students. If you don't do the work, you won't gain the knowledge.
To put it in old-fashioned terms, "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink!"
