Listen to students problems without judging
It seems to me that one way to establish an excellent rapport with students is to really listen to them. Let them express frustrations and what they need. Avoid jumping to conclusions and judging students' views based on the teacher's values and needs. If you earn students' respect then you give back inkind.
I teach a business and law class and I am often faced with students who come to me with "personal" problems as the reason they couldn't do an assignment. While I empathize with them, I also emphasize the fact that "business is business." So, while I care that their dog ran away and that's the reason why their business plan isn't complete, if this were a "real life" situation, a loan officer probably would just see them as unprofessional.
So, I agree, it's a fine line and difficult to walk sometimes, however, I also feel I need to give my students a good, honest education to prepare them for the real world, a little tough love, maybe. I would rather them learn these hard lessons with a lower grade than they wanted, rather than a more substantial disappointment down the road. Any thoughts?
Richard ,
Sometimes they just need someone to listen and bounce some things off of.
Philip Campbell
It doesn't take very much to listen to your student. They might need someone to talk to we need to help as mush as we can and listening should not be to hard
Mark,
There is a line there and sometimes that line gets blurred. We need to make sure it does not get too blurry.
Philip Campbell
Sounds like you're doing a good job of listening. The difference between "professional" and "friend" is what you do next. A professional will probably respond with, "Wow, you're going through a lot. I hope you can get that under control. Have you spoken to anyone in student services about this?" Whereas a friend will probably say something like, "Wow, let me see if I can help you with that. Let me lend you $100. I could take your mom to the hospital if that would help." See the difference?
I need help with my soft skills, so I tried this exercise. Every day I think of, or have a student think of a question of the day. It has nothing to do with what we are doing that day, just silly stuff. What is your favorite movie? Band? Worst thing you've ever tasted?... It gets the students thinking about something else and lets them know I'm interested in what they have to say without taking a lot of time and it's fun.
Melissa,
A tough task indeed. Listening may be all they want sometimes and not any feedback.
Philip Campbell
This is also an area of difficulty for me--retaining the line of professionalism between student and instructor while still creating an environment where students feel comfortable to talk about their issues.
I have found that some students can't get to the learning until they have created a bond with you. Listening to what their expectations are and what they have going on besides the class really helps to understand where they are coming from. Once a student feels that you are truely interested, they are willing to put in the effort to not only attend class, but to put great effort into completing the couse objectives.
Megan,
Sometimes all students need are people to listen.
Philip Campbell
Sherrie,
Keep those soft skills as a part of your tools. They are important.
Philip Campbell
Listening to students' issues is definitely one way to create a rapport with them. But I also agree it can be a fine line. How much do you allow them to tell you before it becomes unrelated and the professional relationship changes? I have had some students who I have had to ask them to stop coming to me with certain issues because they were starting to get too comfortable and not respecting me as an instructor anymore.
I do feel as though my "soft skills" are my gift. Students are drawn to me whenever they feel the need to discuss issues they are having. However, I often find myself conflicted when I near that fine line between being a great listener and crossing over into the dreaded "friend zone". Any suggestions re maintaining one's professionalism in these cases?
It is very important to listen to your students.You don't know they are dealing and maybe they just need someone to listen
I agree with your response Bret. My students are the same way in that you have to have compassion for them, when it comes to their problems. We all have lives outside of work/school and sometimes they carry over into these places. Heartfully listening to our students shows respect and that you really care, even if you cannot always help.
Bret,
Listening is the key. A lot can accomplished just by doing that.
Philip Campbell
