Answering Unpleasant Emails
Answering Unpleasant Emails
Students send emails that can hurt our feelings or offend our sensibilities. While many of us agree that the tone and level of disagreement rarely happens in a campus-based classroom, we need to remember that communicating over the Internet via email and discussion boards isn’t something everyone is proficient at. Sometimes students can be quicker to act before they think on email, or may be having personal or professional problems of their own that we don’t know about and having little to do with our performance as faculty. Either way, we must not respond to aggressive emails in an aggressive manner.
It is easy to ignore an unpleasant email and hope that "it goes away." Typically a failure to responds to an emotion-charged email fuels the fire and often ends up escalating the situation so many layers of administration are involved.
If you answer an angry email in an angry way, you will convey a bad attitude, which reflects poorly on us all. You may come off as rude, prideful or just nasty. Most upset student emails stem from frustration.
By addressing students in an uplifting and forward-thinking manner, the student's attitude can be neutralized
This is where we need tpo stay positive and address the students needs. Negative emails are a cry for help.
Kozet,
I agree, and making sure the students understand that you ARE listening is very important. If they feel that their problems are being ignored or marginalized, then they will become very angry and resentful. I had that problem this semester with a number of students that were trying to get their technical problems resolved by the IT staff, they weren't helping them in a meaningful way and the students became very angry and resentful. Some of that resentfulness was directed at the program even though the program had no control over it. I therefore had to step in and email the students to ensure they knew I was their advocate and working for them. It made a huge difference.
Herbert Brown III
Students look to instructors for guidance, even in situations of frustration, that harbors anger. Working constantly on strong positive language will defuse unpleasant emails.
In most cases students are angry because they are unhappy with their learning experience. They may have a hard time understanding the material, accessing the instructor, or may have received their books late. It is best as an instructor to remain calm and do not take the students thoughts personally. The instructor should address the students concern professionally and offer support. In most cases, this will diffuse the situation.
Sabrina
I also have unpleasant emails from students. At times I was floored by there comments. I just remember to remain professional and I always ensure to respond carefully and always refer back to the schools policies.
LSingleton
Loriann,
This is the best approach. Nicely done.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
This is true. When I have received unpleasant emails, I first address the student stating that I appreciate the email that was sent. I also state that I am here to help and assist with any matter that they may have. I believe the more positive I respond the less aggressive and unpleasant they respond back to me.
Loriann
Richard,
Yes, the instructor sets and models the 'tone.' Thank you.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
Professional communication is the key. No matter how emotional the communication is, the instructor must always be professional in his or her responses.
Sabrina,
Excellent post! The extra thought and effort required to accomplish this almost always makes a bad situation better. Not always, but more times than not. Diffusing the 'fight' with concern for the student is a very effective tool. It is very hard to be angry with someone who is blatantly working toward your benefit. The verbiage in the instructors email needs to make this point glaringly clear. Two or three thoughtful, competent and caring emails often can undo the harshest attitudes.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
