Conflict Management and the Angry Student
I had a student who had emailed me the second day of class and "told" me that all of her assignments would be late due to her work schedule and that she only had an afternoon and evening one day a week to do all of the week's homework. She further informed me that she did not expect to lose any points for her late submissions. I responded to her email with a constructive reply about how the class was set up, pointed her to the late submission policy, and asked in that email if there were other times she could participate in the class. I received a "very angry" reply that I did not "dictate" to her how she would do her homework and that I was "disrespecting" her. I responded calmly, but firmly that she was the student in the class and would need to follow the course and institution rules like everyone else. This student dropped the course at the end of the first week and blamed me for "not working with her."
My questions: How would you respond to a student like this?
Raymond Lombardi
Amy,
Your approach sounds very fair and reasonable. Your approach to acommodate the student on an individual basis is very strong. Nice job.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
I have also had emails like this. Most times I wait half a day to respond so I can collect mt thoughts! I would refer the student back to the policy. In the first week of class I thoroughly go over cours policies and expectations, that way there will be no questions or accusations that they were not informed. I do tell students that if they have an issue come up to keep open communication with me. In those cases we usually develop a plan for late submission without penalty, but not on a regular basis.
Cathleen,
Very good approach. Maintaining respect and professionalism in the online classroom is one of the instructors primary responsibilities. These types of disruptions to the learning environment cannot be permitted. Thanks for sharing you insights.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
Dr. V, one of the most important lessons I have learned is to step away from the computer when I receive flaming emails. It used to upset me when a student wrote horrible things. Now, if it is truly disrespectful, I escalate it. Otherwise, I think the student just had a bad day and try to help them.
Karlen,
Fortunately, the percentage of students who respond in the manner you described is low (far less than 1% for most teaching situations), but this is just part of the job. It is sometimes helpful to prepare statements of 'learning truths' from your teaching philosophy to use in situations like these. Gentle and caring guidance with unwavering conviction to quality education can (sometimes) turn the situation around. "A kind word turns away wrath." I have even had a student send an apolgy a few weeks later, when I thought my efforts had been in vain. You may never know what impact you have in some lives by just continuing to do the right thing - even when it appears it did no good. Hang in there.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
You can't imagine how timely this course has been! Over the past week I have had to deal with a woman who has called on my private phone three times. She was angry because she failed the final and the course. She blamed the slow IT response to her problems. I encouraged her to speak with the appropriate decision-makers in the program. After her third call I did call the academic dean. Apparently the dean was not able to get a word in edgewise and referred her to a higher authority. I have encountered those who MUST have the highest grade (very exhausting) and those who are terrified of the subject material (a joy to encourage!). I had not met such an angry person who blatantly made demands because she was "paying for instruction". I loved the wording of your response to Renee regarding steadfastness and integrity. You are so right...students learn much much more than just facts from us!
Renee,
I think many of us have experienced students who want the class to be conformed to their own preferences and use intimidation to accomplish this. However, I believe you need to look at the silver lining. Your response and steadfastness allowed the student to experience dealing with integrity. Whether you have the opportunity to see the results of this lesson, or not, you need to know that you provide the student with a learning experience toward correct behavior. The students at effective response is less important than the cognitive opportunity you provided.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
Raymond, I can definitely relate to this experience. I agree with how you handled the situation referring the student to the school policy on late submissions. I also asked the student if there was a compromise that we could agree upon that would not be unfair to the rest of the class and was told "no and another institution worked with her this way". It was quite a challenge to work with an individual that initiated intimidation to get what they want. The student also dropped the course because I wouldn't work with them. I was sadden by the manipulation that was presented in an adult learning environment.
Douglas,
Thank you for your kind words and sincere participation.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
David,
Thanks! It seems to be working in that rather than teaching to them or at them, it is learning with them. And it truly has been a cooperatve learning experience.
Doug
Douglas,
Creating a "team" consisting of you and the student(s) is a terrific strategy. Nice going.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
I would share that we both are in a situation of working to the requirements that we were given, including those as listed in the syllabus. I would stress that all students and I would be held to that standard.
Raymond,
Every now and then students enter the classroom with more of a "customer" mindset than a "student" mindset. I completely agree that we are there to serve the student and treat them with dignity and respect as any adult learner should rightfully expect. However, the student is there to learn and the course they have joined has been instructionally designed to make the learning as robust and efficient as possible. That includes the timing of the discussions, assignments and assessments. While the students seems to have approach this is a power struggle, it may have been profitable to discuss the impact of her requested accommodations in light of the possible diminishment of the educational value. Her participation as an adult learner in an asynchronous online forum carries with it responsibilities to the instructor, herself and the other learners. Forsaking the participation established within the instructional design could have negative impact for her as well as the other learners. Sometimes, in today's "customer service" environment these dynamics of instructional design become secondary or tertiary concerns to the detriment of the learning environment for all.
Thank you for sharing the experience and your insights. Your respectful and professional response to maintain equitable enforcement of policy and requirements for all, as well as uphold the integrity of the learning environment, seems reasonable to me. Maybe asking her to prepare a formal request with detailed reasons for establishing these consistent deviations from the class schedule could have uncovered a different outcome, but that is just conjecture on my part.
Dr. S. David Vaillancourt
