Dealing with Difficult Interactions
How do you handle difficult interactions with others in the workplace? Do you follow a process? If so, what are the steps and have they been effective?
I handle difficult interactions by addressing each individual privately about the concern/situation. After listening to each I give it some thought and then get back to each of them. I speak highly of each to the other and address the similarities of the two. Usually one if not both come back and say that there was a misunderstanding and some personal issues/stresses may have played a part and they are respectful of the other's position.
This is normally the process I use, on occasion I may have to have both parties present, however if there is a lot of tension, I prefer one on one. One on one has been the most effective method for me.
Petra,
Being proessional is key to success in any company or project. It may not be freiendly but we need to be progressive and undrestand what is in the best interest of the team
Dr. Gary Carlson
I think this is a great idea, I too have several instructors that do not care for another. I have tried talking to both and told each they need to make an effort to be polite and respectful to each other, however I like your approach much better and I will implement that technique.
Jorge,
When we listen it is important we are patient and assure them we are appreciative of their willingness to communicate. This doesn't mean we are always in agreement but we appreciate the openness.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Dr. Carlson,
I feel that emphatic listening is one of the best tools available to managers to diffuse difficult interactions in the workplace. It is imperative to listen to the individuals separate at first, never take sides and let the employee talk. The majority of the time each employee will realize who bears the responsibility and with some guidance the issue will be resolved. The follow up process is as important as the first meeting that is because the continued feedback will assist in the complete resolution of the issue.
Rebecca,
I know this may sound trite but we need to stand for our own principles. We need to remain positive and work within our own beliefs and values. We can wait out the negaive and be yourself in the time being. When dealing with people the major point is to not take sides and be a great listener. Keep emotion out of the problemsolving portion.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I hate to admit that I do not have a process to follow. The one thing that I habitually do is to try and find the truth in both sides of the story. I do feel that my efforts are in vain because I have a superior who is constantly rewarding bad behavior. It is killing the rest of the staff. I am having trouble keeping moral up.
Majed,
The most important start to a communication is our listening to the parties involved. 87% of our communication success relies on listening. If we can move forward correctly we will have better success.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I would like first to give the benefit of the doubt and discuss any issue or issues with the employee, in person. try to find out where they're coming from and what might be the reason behind the specific interaction/behavior. give them time to reevaluate themselves, come back to me with what they think would be the solution for that specific interaction.
if this didn't work, then I would just follow the procedure by giving them a verbal warning, which may or may not be followed by a written warning, and even a disciplinary action if I have too.
Most of the times just talking to them solve the problem.
Whether the issue is directly with me or between two of my staff I have found that bringing the people involved into the process is imperative. Each one has the opportunity to share their side of what the problem is and what has allowed it to get to that point.
once each person has spoken I highlight the imperative points and remove the emotions. this leads to each seeing the situation from another point of view.
From their we agree upon acceptable actions and changes to avoid this from occurring again.
I cannot say this works 100% of the time, but it is effective the large majority of time.
Shelly,
Stepping back is a good thing to do. When we can keep our emotions in track we can think clearly.
Dr. Gary Carlson
My very first thing that I do is to clear my head. Most of the times issues arise when I am in the middle of a report or really concentrating!! So I walk away from my report or whatever I am working on, get a drink of water and give myself a good stretch. I know this sounds silly, but it clears my head and helps me see the real issues at hand.
Emily,
It has been said many times that the greatest part of communication is the ability to listen. 87% of effective communication is listening. Your technique is exactly on track with the best practice of how to handle difficult situations. Your reactions by being concerned enough to listen start the conversation out on the right tone.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I try to listen to what the other person has to say and then am able to figure out what the root problem is. This makes it easier to come up with a plan on the best way to approach or deal with the issue. Sometimes it is just miscommunication.
Doris,
Good idea, when there are people who need to know is always a good move.
Dr. Gary Carlson
As program director, I first try to hadle the situation head on. If I can not resolve the issue, I will take the issue to the DOE and so forth.
Nancy,
If we can discover the behavior that existed before the person becomes difficult will help you handle the situation better. Precedent behavior is the culprit for the current behavior.
Dr. Gary Carlson
The most important thing is to listen with respect. Think about how you respond to the person who you consider to be difficult. Keep interaction neutral. Give the person to chance be completely done before responding. Practice being silent. Imagine how you would handle the situation of the difficult person. Keep your focus on the mission. Be an example of purpose and passion!
Terra,
Communication is very important and listening rates the highest. By listening we can respond better and appropriately.
Dr. Gary Carlson
