How to avoid Giving Negative Feedback
It's only a three letter word yet it can change good advice into a negative result. I have given many a performance review over the years and I have learned that this word can do more damage that a flat out bad review. The word is "but". I'm sure you have heard or even said statements like "you did a wonderful job on the housing project Harry, but....... The word "but" just nullified all that came before it. Harry is now unwilling to hear anything else you have to say. I now what Harry is feeling. I have felt it myself when I recieved reviews. You have given him praise and then snatched it back. So... How do we get around it? How do you get your point across with out turning Harry off? Simple...involvement. Re-phrase the statement and make Harry get involved. Let's stop and re-phraise the above statement.
"you did a great job on the housing project Harry. It's very detailed. I'm wondering if there is any way you can add bar graphs to the final report and then we can really show what a great job we did." By using that re-phraise Harry feels that he did do a good job and he can do even better by adding the graphs. You're making him feel he is needed and a important part of the team.If you had said it was a good report but it lacked bar graphs to sell the point, Harry would have felt he messed up the project. Is re-phrasing applicable to all situations?. Not all, but it is possible to change wording to get a positive response instead of a shut off. I have used it many times with great success. Try it and let me know if it works for you.
Feedback such a necessity, yet very touchy subject.
On one hand constructive criticism is needed and most of the time well accepted. On the other hand if addressed incorrectly can cause tension.
Thanks Michael! You have captured the essence of the correct way to move from the positive to the improvement without losing the other person in the process. Bravo!
Jay Hollowell
Michael, I think that your comment was right on the money. When I hear the word but I too tend to turn off or worse get angry that the person just didnt come right out and say what they really meant. I think if more people thought about it and tried to avoid that word that relations and productivity would be all the better for it. Your example of re-phrasing the feedback is an excellent one. Good job.
