Overbearing parent / friend accompanying prospective student
Have you ever encountered the loud, interrupting, asks all the questions type of person that comes in with the prospective student? My suggestion is to explain, in a professional manner of course, that you appreciate their concern, but would like the prospective student to ask questions as well as respond since they are going to become the student. Any other suggestions?
Ruth,
We have all had very angry parents. The students are adults and unless they are given permission, it's a no go.
Overbearing parents pose an interesting problem sometimes because of FERPA regulations. We have had parents call demanding information about their son or daughter which we are not at liberty to disclose. We try to be as diplomatic as possible and practice "good communication" skills but they often aren't happy that we don't just provide them the answers they want.
Erika,
Good communication techniques are so important.
Patience and educated answers to their questions is usually my best route. However, I always make eye contact with the prospective student when answering the questions, as to subtly make it clear that they are who we want to be speaking with.
Jennifer,
Very good advice in communication techniques.
By using the student's name in your question, it helps to identify who you want to answer the question.
If the 3rd party responds, it's appropriate to re-phrase the question to the student directly, or inquire their feeling about the respondant's answer.
I've also pre-empted a 3rd party response by stating, "Mrs Jones, your input is very valueable, however, I would like to hear from Suzie how she feels an education will help her meet her goals."
By respecting and validating the 3rd person, we can better control the interview.
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement! It is SO easy to offend the parent/significant other/money donor, but this getting on their side business is brilliant. I've had situations where the parent will ask all the questions, I answer, then ask a question of the student and that seems to work well also. It is tricky business trying to assess the STUDENT's interest at times, and I find your advice very helpful-- it's nice to have another tactic to get through to the student in this kind of situation.
Amanda,
Interesting approach!
We do not encounter many parent third-parties, but do often have spouses interested in accompanying a potential applicant. I have found it easier to offer the third-parties their own forum for questions and answers. In our situation we often find current spouses of enrolled students willing to lead the spouses group! Any legal/ program specific information can be held in a group forum, but this material does not usually solicit loud, interupting opinons and concerns.
Every situtation is different and like you said Patty you must use your judgement to determine the best way to handle the situation at hand.
Monica,
Every situation is different and you will need to use your professional judgment.
I have used this technique in the past and have seen it work for us. The 3rd party can be a pain but at times if you are able to get through to them it can help greatly with the potential student.
Penny,
Your philosophy says so much about you. Your enthusiam abounds.
Angel,
It does show the support of family to have them there. School is hard work and they must be dedicated to complete the program. Having support of friends and family is critical to their success.
I love when students bring their friends or parents, that give me the impression that they are very supportive of the students decisions to move forward in their education, and in that same token, I ask about them also. PDL
I welcome all questions, concerns, etc. no matter who they may be from. I know I can answer their questions, etc. and put them at ease because I believe in my school and what it does. I have the confidence in myself and my school when giving my presentation so that the prospective students and their guests will never feel that I've pressured them into making a decision that wasn't 100% their own or right for them, whether or not they sign up with me.
Elisa,
Then are they going to be successful in something that they are doing for someone else?
Once again, Thanks. Its always nice to share our own experiences. I have learned so much during this training and sharing information with all of you makes it more interesting.
You are right. Sometimes when you start asking questions you will be surprised to find out that the prospective student does not want to be sitting there at all. They are just being dragged out of their home by their mother, wife or other relative becuase they dont want to have them sitting around doing nothing during this financial crisis where finding a job is a though mission.
