Is there such a thing as too involved?
I feel I get too involved at times. I really and truly care for my students. I get like an "instant high" when they get an excellent job. I even helped one student how received a large amount of money and hadn't any clue about the world open an savings account and a safety deposit box. Another student had no place to live and I brought her into my home temporially.
Thank you for sharing this experience, Frank. Unfortunately, too many people would simply have written off such a person. You and your students certainly have changed this person's life. And thank you for caring so deeply about your students.
I had and excellent student who stopped attending for no apparent reason. I found out that he was living at a hotel intoxicated and was suffering from alcohol poisoning. I attempted to get him back and to get counselling for his addiction. However, it was in vain... So I had several students assist me the second time. Upon arrival to the hotel they called 911 and had him hospitalized. Subsequently, he was admitted to rehab and is now back in class leading the class by example. He will be one of the best graduates we will ever have.
I think that there is a point when you cross the line from mentoring to friend. for example if you learn too much information about one student then the other students may think you might treat that person better than you treat them.
Remember students talk inbetween classes sometimes their thoughts or ideas of how one gets treated in class gets skewed when conversation is passed from student to student.
tklingsick
How do you draw the line, Brenda?
How do you draw the line, Brenda?
I feel getting to involved with the students makes the students feel you are their friend instead of their instructor
Your points are well made. One of the key defining attributes of successful faculty and staff is how they define and manage that fine line with students. Some seem to have a natural ability to navigate difficult situations and consistently come out with a 'happy ending'. If only we could figure out that formula.
Yes, you must keep it professional and within school guide lines. You must do for all what you do for one. Wanting to go above and beyond is normal but not always benificial for the student.
As I answered before, my school had a strict no fraternization policy that would prohibit bringing students into your home.
What is your school's policy? What alternatives would you use, Michael?
Does your campus allow you to bring students into your home?
I totally agree with you Stephanie. I care for my students very much too. I am not sure what is considered to much...maybe that is somethings to discuss with your boss.
To be effective, support people must remain objective and avoid any emotional investment in the problem. The problem is the student's. Taking ownership only perpetuates the problem and eliminates an opportunity to learn self sufficiency. What techniques to you use to maintain objectivity, Robert?
As indicated in the coursework, there is indeed a fine line. I believe a clear distinction and focus on taking interest in the resolution of the student's problem rather than the emotional ties in the ownership of the problem is the key. Getting involved to an emotional degree clouds the ability to be objective and often times directly honest.
I'm not the person who brought the student into her home, and she didn't respond when asked the outcome before, Heidi. However, when I was President of a school we had a policy against fraternization with students. The thinking is that familiarity can breed contempt but it also puts the staff member at risk for unfound charges. Under some circumstances such behavior could lead to dismissal.
I totally agree. sometimes we learn the hard way. i remember when i first started counseling I was not able set limits and boundaries as well as now. You definitely learn from experience. My approach with students is similiar to yours. I do not believe it is always helpful to fix the problem. As parents if we always fix things for our children they never learn to make healthy decisions on their own. Giving our students choices and seeing them successfully problem solve and develop resources on their own is a great gift. When this is done you see students feel more independent and watch their self-esteem increase tremendously.
I have worked as a therapist for years before
working in an educational institution. It is hard to work with many of our students and not feel connected and want to help. However, the more years of experience I have learned better boundaries for self preservation. Bringing a student in to your home could lead into a bunch of liability issues. I am curious as well, did it work out. What is your school policy? Could you get fired over this?
Yes. Engagement with students is an important retention tool. Going out your way to support a student is not the same as taking over the student's problems. The most valuable help teaches the student how to clarify the problem, identify alternative solutions and then encourage them to act. If they rely on you for everything you aren't helping them.
Would getting involved help retention? The student might want to stay in class because the teacher went out of their way and really showed interest. Or it could back fire and the student will rely on you for everything.
Good points, Tammy. I've never liked the phrase about no good deed going unpunished, but sometimes it seems true. People who are in pain may lash out at those who are trying to help. Hopefully, people will heed your advice and won't be deterred from continuing to serve students even if they become targets of the student's negative actions.
