What can be done with a student that has made up his mind to be miserable...
What do you do when a student has made up his mind to be miserable? He's already upset from something that transpired in one of the first classes he took. He went all the way to the top without satisfaction. Every class he goes to after that he comes in with a chip on his shoulder. You get him just before he is to graduate and he's in his last class. This has been festering for at least one year. What can be done to pacify (pacify is probably not the right word) this student.
Unfortunately, the adage about misery loving company seems to be true. That's why it's so important to isolate and treat the problem as soon as possible. It won't get better by ignoring the problem.
There is also the challenge of what this one miserable student does to the rest of the class and its morale.
It sounds like you have a very proactive culture at your school. I think it's very positive that your president is meeting with these difficult students.
Has this level of involvement had a positive impact on staff/faculty and students?
We have a few students who exhibit the negativity on a constant basis. This exhausts the whole staff as we feel as though we are walking on egg shells to make these folks happy. Our president has even started meeting with one of them on a weekly basis to try and talk through the issues. I agree that we need to consistently disply positive energy, but it does get hard sometimes.
No, I never experienced anyone with a negative attitude ,I would say more shy or nervous. But that is where we come in to let them know that we are here to help them.
In a different posting I believe that you said you worked at the reception desk, Valeri. Do you ever encounter prospects who are negative from the moment they first arrive at the school? Does that ever impact their acceptance?
I think the best way to deal with a student that has already made up his mind to be miserable is to try to start the process over again...try to get to the bottom of the problem. Feed him/ her with positive remarks and positive scenerios. Let him /her know that we are there to help in anyway.
Has this been successful for you, Laura? I would be concerned that the student may become even more confrontational.
I have a honest conversation, privately, in which I ask, "hows that working for you?" "Is misery a good place, is it helping you..." This brings an awareness to the student that carrying a grudge doesn't help them meet their goals.
Sometimes it seems that all the hard work to understand what this particular type of student needs can't penetrate the prejudice that developed early on in the student's experience. I had a student that loved his classmates (they stay together as a class for 4 terms) was extremely generous with them and praised me highly but could not get over the "bad taste" for the school that developed early on and dropped out during his externship. I believe about this student too that he had a particular instructor that he wanted to work with and since he never could his "demands" of the school could not be fulfilled.
Agreed that it does take a lot of energy. Whe I think about the amount of energy that persons negative attitude and constant questioning takes away from my other students I find the energy expended in "winning them over" is well spent. Id rather spend 5 minutes a day checking in with them and recalibrating than ignoring a half an hour of complaining every day.
True, Dara. I also think that in some cases benign confrontation where you challenge the student can be an alternative. "You seem pretty miserable. Are you looking for problems or solutions? I can't help you if you're looking for problems, but I can help if you truly want to find positive answers."
I believe that there is always a chance to change an attitude or "first impression" but it takes exceptional energy and attention to do so. Therefore, as along as everyone who has touched the student after the original or initial transgression occurred has been positive and continues to try to exert a positive influence and outcome for the student, that is the best we can expect. After all, we can control our attitudes toward the student, but the student is ultimately in control of his/her own attitude.
This is a very thoughtful process. How much time does the conversation typically take? Have you had students reacted even more negatively?
A method I have used which I feel has had considerable success with this type of student is to simply discuss with them what they had expected from this course of study. Then, why they have the negative outlook or feelings about what they have completed so far. At this point, I will ask them how much they knew about the subject matter before they started and then talk about all the individual things they know about it now. After they have reviewed the knowledge they have gained, I simply ask them if they can remember another time in their life when they have gained this amount of new knowledge in such a short period of time. Most will answer "no". I explain to them that it is understandable that though they may feel overwhelmed from time to time, they have made huge leaps towards their goals. After looking at things from this perspective, not all, but many will find a new way to cope with the stressors they deal with.
Your right, the positive attitude we show as instructor's might be one of the thing's right in that student's life.If you think all hope is gone as far a retention stat goes,at least try to plant a seed as a role model.
You can't win them all, but you still have to try. I have had success in changing some attitudes, even in the last course before they graduate. You have to be genuine with the students, treat them as adults. Showing them that you care about their future and directing them sometimes to a resource they did not know they had access to CAN change their outlook.
Interesting thought. What's the alternative?
with a few students with a negative attitude about life in general (the world owes them everything)having them work with the "good students" can bring them down.
