Setting Boundaries
How do you deal with a student who will not open up to another person besides the instructor?
While those ideas might not be well suited for your students, Edward, I think the message is that there are ways to engage students and shape the culture/environment in your classroom. While they may project "no weakness or mercy" I image they wouldn't mind being on the receiving end if they encounter a problem.
I'm an instructor at a very mostly male automotive technical school. i'm not sure those ideas would work here. Too much postering and testosterone. Show no weakness or mercy! Students rarely open up in class but I make time available after class for one on one. I break the ice in class by saying I grade students, I don't judge them.
Sometimes it will take a personal introduction to another person who can provide specialized support to a student who is unwilling to engage others. This process supports the student, indicates the value/need to reach out to other resources and provides for a non-threatening transition.
In Massage Therapy, I remind students that they will be working with the public. It IS a Health Profession. I encourage group discussions on class topics, working together in groups with hands on lab assignments, and sharing their phone numbers with class members so they can communicate together in case they miss class.
I do this thing called "the Mixer" among other ice breakers. I have some cards with thought provoking questions on it things like "what makes you smile" " what would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you" "what do you need to do more of and/or less of" ,"Time or Money" ...! I pass them out to every student,they pair up (one on one). Now they talk to each other about what's on their card until I say switch. this is when they go to another student in class and switch cards (they never have the same card)and talk to them about what's on this new card. We do this for about 10-20 minutes, depending on how big your class is.They love this and it's fun, you get very interesting answers.then you discuss what you liked vs what you didn't like. Good Stuff!!
Boundaries can serve to help all participants feel safe. To go beyond your scope of practice as an instructor is to overstep the boundaries. Telling a student that the school's Student Success Advisor has been trained to specifically assist with issues that are beyond the boundaries of an instructor.
Yikes, that is a difficult situation. As the instructor, I would try to listen as much as possible and refer the student to other people who may be able to help more. Ultimately, you should stress to the student that the instructor has limited tools to help and that other people have a more complete toolbox to assist in solving problems.
