Boundaries
The part of my job I take the most seriously is treating students with care and immediate respect, and many times this works well in developing a good relationships. The negative side to that (for me)is setting boundaries. I want students to feel welcome and sincerely cared for, but sometimes that leads to me being walked over - or to students not respecting me. Do you have any tips on maintaining boundaries/discipline while still showing kindness and acceptance to students? I know this is an integral part of the 3 Ms, and I'd really like to develop those skills. Thank you.
Thanks, Tony.
Sometimes students equate "fairness" with "sameness." We need to let them know that we have expectations, but we are willing to work with them when extenuating circumstances pop up and they let us know about them. Every case is a little different.
I sometimes deal with things like "You let her turn in the assignment late, why not me?" If I set the expectation that students have to contact me before they assignment is due for permission to turn it in late, then I have a leg to stand on when I let the ones who do so have a break and when I choose not to give a break those that do not do so.
I have found this to be true in practice. Generally they will attempt to determine if you in fact will adhere to your guidelines/expections. Then they will test you again with a look of dismay. But when you stick to your expectations and treat them all as equals, I've found that in the end I've gained their trust and respect.
Good points, Jacki.
There needs to be clear separation between teacher and student. Boundaries need to be established that promote professionalism.
We have to be friendly to our our students but we should not become their friends until after they graduate.
I believe there is sometimes a fine line in maintaining boundaries. While I feel that we should be accessible to students, I think they should be taught to respect office hours, other commitments, etc. Example: instead of students walking directly into our offices, request that they stop at the front desk to check and see if we are available. Also, I'm against giving personal phone numbers to students. I feel that some of them will go as far as we let them and they have to be taught what is acceptable and what isn't. Also, we are preparing them for careers and I have to ask myself the question "how do we want to train them," not only in performance of their chosen field but in the soft skills, which carries so much importance.
Thank you, Jeffrey.
It makes a lot of sense that not setting boundaries does a disservice to the students in the end. I hadn't thought of it that way, and I appreciate your insight!
Amanda,
The key is to be consistent while being fair. Establish a set of expectations that are reasonable, then stick to the consequences you establish when students do not meet those expectations.
You can still be caring and gain respect when you are firm and stick to your guns relative to student behavior. Sometime we think allowing students to step over lines without consequence is a way to keep them in school. This type of thinking does not usually work.
Students will reach the standards you set for them. Setting and keeping to high standards will untimately inspire students to reach those standards.
