Here are some tips I personally use for dealing with difficult students and difficult situations: • Meet privately – having an audience causes more defensiveness. • Expect that difficult situations will take time to resolve – if you feel rushed, ask to meet at a later, specific time. • Don't take things personally. Recognize that your role is to be calm and objective. (Vent later with a friend or colleague if you need to.) Use Active Listening Skills • Clarification – ask questions to clarify if you are unsure • Paraphrasing – rephrase content • Reflection – rephrase feelings • Summarization – listen for themes or main points • Physical cues – use head nods, eye contact, open body posture; this lets the listener know that you are listening Work on one problem at a time • Make requests, not ultimatums • Focus on the present not the past. Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want