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Did you know that, in at least one way, you're at your creative best when your system is out of order? 

Now, "Out of Order" means when your mental picture of how things should be is very different from how things actually are. Human beings are always striving for order, and when our mental picture of how things should be matches reality, we feel comfortable and in control.

But what happens when they don't match? What happens when our mental picture of, say, the car we drive is thrown out of order by an accident?  Or our picture of how… >>>

How do you respond to personal affronts or insults? If you have high self-esteem, they probably don't bother you much. Here is why.

Have you ever noticed that people with low self-esteem have a terrible time with anything they perceive as an insult? You see, beneath their façade of self-confidence, they are really not convinced of their own value or competence. So whenever they believe that someone has insulted or rejected them, they come unglued.

They fret and fume. They get angry. They spend a lot of time brooding about it, and sometimes they even seek retaliation or revenge. But… >>>

If you had a choice between love and fear, which would you choose? If you think the answer is obvious, then you might just be surprised.

If you were offered a choice between feeling and acting out of fear or out of love, which one would you pick? No question about it, most people don't even hesitate before they say, "Love!" But this is not a hypothetical question. It is a choice each of us is faced with every day of our lives. And all too often, whether consciously or not, we choose fear. 

When you avoid success, harm your… >>>

What makes people want to change? Notice that we didn't say, "think they should change." 

There are many things that make people think they should change, and all of them add up to pressure from outside themselves. It may be disapproval from a family member or friend. It may be social or cultural norms or even prohibition. It may be fear of punishment or humiliation. 

But when pressure to change is coming from the outside world, our desire to change is probably going to disappear as soon as the pressure is removed. The results of our change efforts are not… >>>

We've talked a lot about friendships and relationships these last few days. Yet, no friendship is as crucial to your self-esteem as your first friend, that friendship you maintain with yourself. 

There's no doubt about it, friendships are an important part of life. However, all your other friendships combined aren't as important as the one you have with yourself. You see, every day of your life you send yourself thousands of messages that determine how you evaluate your own worth. 

The evaluation you make of your worth is what determines your level of self-esteem. Of course, the messages of love… >>>

Good, strong friendships can make our lives immeasurably richer. 

Good friends are rare. We have thousands of acquaintances, many associates, but few real friends. Real friends are those we freely select, and for this reason they play a special part in our lives. They provide us with joy, comfort and caring. And because our time with them is limited to relatively short periods together, friendships give us a breather from the intensity of our full-time, primary relationships.

When we have made a good friend, we have shared our deepest thoughts and feelings, and we have also developed shared respect and… >>>

Most of us extend small kindnesses to others. But how many of us practice the same loving gestures when it comes to ourselves? Let's talk about our gifts to ourselves.

How good a friend are you to yourself? Most of us are very good at celebrating our friendships with little gestures and gifts that say we care. But what do you give yourself that could qualify as a gift? A little self-indulgence is a healthy thing, which could mean buying yourself that new book (or eBook), treating yourself to dinner out or hiring someone to wash and wax your car.… >>>

What makes you happy? Where do you find joy? No matter who you are, the answer to these questions is always the same. A radical statement? Perhaps.

Do you know anyone who is always looking for happiness? What about people who are constantly in pursuit of joy through some activity, or people who complain that their relationships are dull, their job oppressive? 

They act as if happiness and joy are to be found "out there" somewhere. They seldom come to terms with the idea that happiness is inside them. You see, we can't look for joy as we do a… >>>