Trying not to be a 'pal'!!!
I would say that the whole notion of being a friend vs. being a pal is important. This is my first year teaching, and I've come to realize (the hard way!) that being too close can lead to problems. Basically, the students begin to think of you as a peer, and then they don't respect the rules of the class room because they feel that it doesn't apply to them anymore!
Anyone else have this problem?
I know a fellow instructor that fell into this trap. It got so bad they were going out to lunches together in groups on a regular basis. The problems really occurred when it was grading time.
Lesson: You are not their "hang out buddy!" Keep a distance but be friendly and professional at all times, and under any circumstance, don't "Pal" around with a student!
Hi Clifton,
I'm a new instructor myself, and I have nearly fallen into this trap myself. In the beginning I wanted the students to like me. I thought this would get them to feel comfortable and come to class. The problem is they started getting the idea that they could basically do whatever they wanted. I quickly had to change my approach and it was alot more effective. What new instructors need to realize is that students in actuality are craving for structure. It's our professional duty to give that to them without being overly stuffy. I have to say it is a fine line, but you can't allow them to see you as a peer in any way. I actually got alot more respect when I changed my approach and the students improved. I hope this helps. With time comes experience and hopefully we like our students learn through trial and error.
The old saying "give them an inch and they will take a mile" seems to apply to these situations. Be nice but do not allow a student to take advantage of your good nature. Be firm and consistant. Its easier to start a new class a little on the strict side than to try to tighten up on rules after you have been too lax.
I've found that consistency is a major contributor in maintaining that professional relationship with the students.
I would have to agree with you.It is very hard to seperate ourselves. I have also learned that the hard way and it comes back to bite you.
Rich Evans
As it has been said in this posting be a pal,will result in disruptions in the classroom and your objectives for the day or the course may not be meet.
Friendly for sure i feel this opens the door for the stundents that are not out going to open up and be a part of the group.
I think it is very important to remember that students are people too. A pal can still be an authority, when need be. The problem I find is, that teach adults. There has been too many instructors that I have dealt with that would rather "break" the student, than instruct the student. Being a "pal" doesn't mean you have to "hang" with them, it just means you are showing them some respect. I preach respect the first day of my class, and have had good reults. I am a "pal" to a lot of my present and former students. They come to me for advice and answers, kind of like a pal would do...
It is ok to care, but there has to be a seperation between work and your personal life. As the old saying goes, "Dont mix business and pleasure".
Thomas J. Costello
I totally ageree with not being a pal.Getting too close to a student results in the student attempting to walk all over the instructor.One has to remain professional with the student or keep a certain distance so to speak.Relations with the student will then be more affable.
I would have to agree that the line of respect has to stay intact. Both towards the student and towards the instructor. If the instructor gets to be more of a "friend" then a instructor, the line can be lost very easy.
Yes I'm new still and finding out that letting the leash out to far only causes you to get bit in the end. Each class I'm learning I need to be harder on all and not letting things slide or let to many do their own thing, thinking i'm letting them get creatative but it seems when i need them to listen their out doing what they want anyway because i have let them go to often. some things you live and learn.
I've found that being someone that they look up to along with someone they can respect work hand in hand...if you allow the students to get to close then it brings up all kinds of differant things that are not class related such as personal problems and so forth...if you keep the respect of you and the class if helps forms a base that can help the student grow in that class.
I think another word that could be used instead of "friend" would be the term "friendly". This might be a term that some instructors might be more comfortable with.
Hi Clifton,
Glad that you were able to recognize the need for a professional distance from your students early in your teaching career. By realizing early that you are not a peer of theirs and that you are the person in charge of their learning you will be able to establish yourself as the class leader and director of learning.
This is a problem that many new teachers experience and they have to find out that they must work on earning the respect of their students and develop rapport with them, which needed if they are going to be successful teachers.
Gary
