Being buddies with your students.
The first chapter to this training talks about being a friend but not a pal. This can't be anymore true, I have noticed when I observe other becoming pals with students, it makes it hard for other instructors to be more professional with those student because they expect you to be their pal and when you follow a professional regime they might lose some resect for you.
I agree with you Jose, if we distance ourselves too much, its almost as if we are unapproachable. Theres a balance I believe.
This may well be one of the hardest to master rules of teaching. We as humans are normally a social bunch, we need to maintain this with our students and still stay respected professionals. Becoming a Pal with our or with a student will lead to respect problems.
Hi Manny,
Glad the information will be of help to you. As a new instructor you have enough new coming at you so every bit of advice you can get will be of help as you develop into a top notch instructor. I wish you the best.
Gary
I just finished reading this section of the course. I am a first year instructor and can already see the dangers of crossing that fine line
I agree. I try to keep my distance from students because it affects my objectivity. As an Technical Instructor, I feel that performance is more cut and dry than as a mentor. Mentors must deal with emotions, it is difficult to grade an emotion, as emotions are individuals chosen attitudes for situations.
Brian
I am struggling with these things from the other side as well. Through this module i found several things that i need to improve on in this area. Although short term a good thing for me it does make sense to me now that the ripple affect is very diffucult for the following instructor. I am going to have to keep this in the fore front of my teaching methods. I do not want to make things harder for my peers, and dont wish to struggle with rule "benders". i would hope that this would be done for me as well.
Hi Jose,
The key thing about an instructor student relationship is the professionalism. The instructor needs to be supportive and mentor when needed. They need to establish rapport with students so when those students have a reason for approaching an instructor they will do so and feel comfortable in doing it.
By maintaining a consistent professional manner the students will know you care and that you are available to talk with them when needed. This is what the modeling, motivating, managing part of being an educator is all about. Keep up the good work.
Gary
I do agree we shouldn't get into the Pal role. But keeping a healty distance from the students may make you unapproachable. Being a mentor means being involved with your students while still maintaining professionalism.
The facility i will be intructing for has a written policy that does not allow teachers to fraternize with student, this includes no giving students rides,no meeting with them outside of class time and no exchanging of gifts. I think this is a good policy that helps to discourage teachers from becoming "pals" with the pupils.
I believe their is a way to do this. You want and need the student to be able to ask you a question as well as maybe being their for something he needs. We tend to spend most of our time with these students and need to be there for them. There is a fine line between the 2 and it is even finer with the opposite sex. I know that students have an even harder time with this especially with a younger instructor.
Prior to taking this course, I had never differentiated between being a friend and a pal. I found it interesting how the course seperated the two. Once it did, I now can see how they can be two different things. But then I wonder how many of us had taken the seperation of the two into consideration, and then go a step further, how many of our students know the difference? It is going to rest upon our shoulders as the instructors to keep that boundary clear in our mind since we all know, as has been mentioned, the students won't.
I think every one hit it on the head you have to be very careful not to cross that line, some student are so likeable some times you would like to be friends this is a very slippery slope be very careful
It works the same way if you were the owner of a shop and you hired your friend to work for you. You don't have the employer and employee relationship.
I belive there is a fine line in being pals or just being a friend some of the students we deal with just need some advice from time to time as they are away from home for the first time and have no one to talk to. We as instructors need to define that line and be careful not to cross it.
I completely agree. We need to show them that we care about them and also provide them a space where they can feel safe to talk and share their views. However, in know way it should become anything more than that.
THe students should always know where their boundaries are. However, if we do not show them these boundaries they will never know....
Yes,
Many times they then feel they can push or even ignore the rules and that you should let it go.
Then when you do need to inforce rules, you don't just loose them as a buddy, but they also loose respect for you.
I've noticed that if you try to be more of a pal, the students will cross that line that differentiates you as an Instructor and mentor/authority figure with that of their friends. From that point on it will be a struggle to maintain control and respect in the classroom.
I agree. we can't be a model and someone for the students to admire or respect as mentors if we are on the same level as a buddy they hang out with. that won't work.
Brian,I agrree with you 100%
Too often I have seen instructors cross the boundry between mentor and friend and get into the Pal role. We are not part of their peer group and as such should keep a healthy distance from the studnets. When someone breeches this it can cause hardship and confusion for the students and instructors alike...Professionals should be just that professional...
