Saying NO
Learning to say no is hard for me. I always want to help when someone needs it, even it means stressing me out. Finding a good balance of things I have to do and things I would want to do is what I need to work on.
I had the same problem for a long time as well. I would constantly be asked for help during my time off or on breaks. It was hard to say no, and was becoming a source of stress. Things have become better after I learned to manage my time and to take a real break from work.
Josef, While being flexible can often be constructive, we all have limits. Students can sometimes take advantage of our flexibility and we've really got to watch for this. Sounds like this is the case with respect to the situation you mention here. It's important to make boundaries clear - with the interest in best serving you students' educational needs.
Dr. Melissa Read
I agree. It's hard for an instructor to say no especially when a student or other person in the process is really making a legitimate attempt to try but there are times where "trying" isn't good enough.
A present example is a student who is going through a tough time balancing work and school. i can give her some leeway as long as the work gets done but a request has been made to waive a major assignment and count the others as more of the grade and the answer has to be "no" because it is unfair to other students and/or opens up Pandora's Box if others find out.
Good point Sharon, though I know how tempting it can be to want to commit to tasks right away. Taking a step back really helps set you on the right track.
Prioritizing tasks first before saying yes can be the key.
what a perfect way to come to a decision as to whether this additional task can be taken on. I am going to make this a part of my plan of action the next time I am asked to take on yet another responsibility.
Soulds good, but is a very hard item for me to da as well. We feel that if we say now it will create problems for someone else.
Most people say yes to too many things in fear that the other person might get angry or lose a friendship but I find that I gain more respect when I say no to things that I cannot take on. I may not do those additional tasks as well as I should if it overflows my plate.
Just learning when & how to say no is a great stress releiver. Practicing it give me more control & I can create a better balance.
I agree with this post 100%. It's so hard to put ourselves first sometimes because it feels selfish. However, it's one of the biggest and best things we can do to put ourselves in a position to help others.
Donna...Saying no truly is one of the most difficult things we do in this life. We want to be helpful and typically everything to everybody, but there are times when making ourselves the priority should take precedence. We must first make sure our mind, body and spirit has been fueled properly before we leap in to help another. Setting boundries and valuing ourselves and our personal well being is great example to share with those who are also struggling with the "no" concept.
To be successful in lifeyou must find a way to say no. To meet the need of your life it is a good idea to follow the pie of life. And base your yes i will help you and no I cannot help you off of your pie of life. There is no reason to live a stressful life. you have the control to set the stage for your own stress level.
Yes agree it is tempting not to say no. Even teaching many courses which is over an instructors limit can be at a disadvantage to students. Instructors want to be effective in the classroom for their students.
Prioritizing tasks first before saying yes can be the key.
I'm a lot like you Donna but at the place I teach, the administration is constantly pushing the faculty to do more and more. I feel that it is not so much how well I do my job, but rather how much extra work I can do.
I agree family first. And if work effect it that bad then it time for a new job. But in today's times jobs are not that easy to come by. So you need to find ways to work it out.
I agree. You can not be everything to everybody. Sometimes, the more you do, the more you get. It can be a downward spiral. You need to have a plan and stick to it. Prioritize, with your needs and concerns as primary.
Saying no WAS always difficult for me too. Once I realized that frankly no one really cares about you in the workplace except as a way to get a job done because it looks bad for those in administration if it doesn't get done,I felt much better. I get the job done to the best of my ability, I'm good with the students, and the success rate is excellent. The one thing you have to realize is that you and your family come first and everything else comes second. If your workplace is stressing you out that much, look for another job-life is too short.
Indeed true Samuel. As instructors, we've got to find ways of saying no to non priority tasks or delegating those tasks out to our peers. Instructors who try to accomplish everything often accomplish nothing instead because they are spread far too thin.
Saying no was not an option until lately. I find that if you say yes all the time it takes away from you're original to do lists and makes acomplishing everyday tasks impossible and harder to do.
That's really insightful Diana. Rules that work well for children may not work at all when we are adults. We must think critically about how productive our habits are in our adult lives and leave unproductive habits behind.
