Choose your battles
Just today a student of mine was discussing stress management in a live chat. He said you have to "archive" how you successfully deal with stress so that you can bring out the technique again later. I loved that! For me, choosing what to confront and what to avoid is a big deal. I have effectively decided to "choose my battles" when it comes to work, teaching, parenting, life, etc. There really are things that are out of my control (environmental stressors). I can work mostly on personal frustration and do my best not to be my "worst enemy".
Robert, This is true. It is important to listen to others in terms of their perceptions of priorities, but then combine that information with our thoughts and perspectives to draw our own conclusions.
Dr. Melissa Read
Allowing others to dictate what you should consider important and worth battling about is losing control of one's life, whether this is at work or at home. Self control leads to less stress in the long run and defines one's person.
Michael, Yes, it's important to consider our sphere of influence. There are certain things we can control and others that we really can't. Knowing the difference between the two give us a healthy outlook and approach.
Dr. Melissa Read
That's a great philosophy. You can't win at everything. You can't do everything. Make intelligent choices to make your life easier and deal with what you can.
Since one of my roles is being a father, I pick my battles as well with my children and my students. It is important to assess each issue and try to resolve those that are important. The problem might be that what is important to you may not be that important to the other person.
Judy, This is important perspective. We simply cannot take on the world. It is important to pick your battles carefully. It isn't always easy to say NO, but it can often lead to peaceful outcomes.
Dr. Melissa Read
I absolutely agree with knowing which battles to pick and which ones to leave alone. I have learned that if I pick my battles effectively then I am way less stressed and many times the battles I choose to ignore seem to work themselevs out.
I think people need to be accountable for themselves and setting boundaires is one good way to accomplish this. I have learned to set my boundaries, say NO when I need to and pick which battles are worth my time.
I always choose my battles as it is an effective form of time management for me
"I don’t have to react" I work on this daily. For some people the need for my reaction (good or bad) was a result of me not giving the previous attention they desired.
