I usually respond to the student shift in blame with a question. Do you feel you could have assisted in helping prevent the situation from occuring they way it did? This usually gets them thinking about their role in being unprepared or turning in assignments late. If this doesn't work I ask another question. What do you feel might have been done differently to assit you? This gives me insight into what they feel they are lacking, and helps me help them.
Hi Phuong,
I always let my students know actually there are 3 sides to every story, person 1 side, person 2 side, and the truth. I try to get to the truth so that things are fully resolved, and the students can move forward.
Patricia
I would have both side students sit down and discuss about the problems. That way you would see on both side reaction of who is right or wrong.
I am a new instructor and have not yet had to deal with this issue. However, reading about this does open my thought process as to how will I initially deal with "blame". Policies are put in place by those who have already been through the worst, by upholding these policies I see an avenue to take as well as putting myself into the shoes of the student, what is the real issue!
i feel constant communication is the key. Staying on top of these students and following up with them is one way to show them you care about them and will not let them short themselves. Blaming life for things does not get things done and making them face it will help them stay focused in and out of the classroom.
Hi Shannon,
Absolutely, students must know that they are in charge of their own destiny and that the ball is in their court.
Patricia
Hi Julie,
I really like how you focus on the positive. It is easy to point out what students are doing wrong. As educators, we should make it a point to emphasize those things that are being done right so that confidence is boosted.
Patricia
I bring the focus back to the student and look at what they are doing well and what areas they may need to improve in. I start with the positive because one reason they may be blaming others is because they have low self esteem.
I honestly have not yet encountered this issue, although I am sure I will. I beleive the best way to deal with this situation is to ask them what they themselves can do to make sure they will do their best in my course. The main idea is to get them to the realization this is their course, their future, their career and they have the ultimate decision in where it goes.
Hi Charles,
Yes, you can! You do what it takes to show the student they are the one in full control of their destiny.
Patricia
Hi Sylvia,
Students need this lecture about being held accountable and stop pointing the finger. This type of student does not make for a very positive employee in the workplace, and we need to try to help the student with this weakness while they are in college.
Patricia
That sounds like a good way to let them see how they can change their behavior in a constructive and non-critical way. I'm finding that adult students seem to be extra sensitive when you make them accountable for their own actions,even when they know they are responsible. I really like this approach.
Take the approach on explain to student the importance of taking owner ship for ones action and being accountable to oneself.
Excuses are like lawyers, everybody has one and most of them stink! - I have not encountered this student yet - one on one, can you challenge all the excuses and show the student they and they alone are responsible for their life?
I do that too. Employers want some one to own up to their mistakes and not try to blame others.
I many times try to lighten the moment with a litte quote. "If if's and buts were candy and nuts we'ed all have a wonderful xmas".It many times works. The student will usually accept the responsibility and digress.
This tends to be a problem with my 10 year old son, as well as some of my 30 year olds in my class. I usually resort to pulling them aside and having them relive the issue and pointing out the problem. Then we evaluate how that problem came about, and how to solve it. They usually get it when it comes back to them and they realize that they need to be better problem solvers
These are great suggestions. I teach a Career Development class where we talk about the workplace and school (it is a first term class) and we talk about things we can't control and things we can. When we make the list, we find that most stuff falls under the latter category.
Hi Nicole,
Students really do have to learn how to accept responsibility for their own actions. I replay every scenario from the employer's perspective whenever students begin to point the finger at someone else so that students can see it from a different point of view.
Patricia
On the first day of class I discuss "Taking Ownership." As the class continues, I notice that there maybe some students that play the "Victim role." (It's everyone's else fault but theirs.) I meet with the student one-on-one, and allow them to express themselves. once they are finished, I use postive support by saying, "Ok, now that you have realized that everyone was trying to come against you so you can't succeed, what are we going to do to avoid this happening again?" I later discuss about taking ownership and taking the right steps to a successful future.
My goal is allow them to release the negitive energy, and allow me to deposit the postitive seeds that will have them grow into the profession that they are looking for.
