The Friend
First mistake I see, especially from new and young instructors is trying to befriend their students. Respect has to come first, friendship later.
Many of my students are roughly the same age as I am. I will use that to help relate to them, but being too friendly is very dangerous.
I think students loose respect for you as soon as you make friends. It is better to earn their respect by being professional than worried about whether they like you or not. They are not our friends. They are here to learn from us because we are professionals and have experience in the field as well as giving them the tools they need to be successful.
Hi Hazelyn,
When you befriend students they really feel like they do no wrong, and you will let them get away with murder. Keep business as business!
Patricia
Yes and also they will become very spoiled and think they can get away with it.
Hi Damaris,
Great response! I can tell you maintain your level of professionalism with your students. Students need more role models, such as yourself to look up to.
Patricia
I completely agree that the teacher-student relationship should be strictly professional based on mutual respect. I don´t want to be a friend to my students in order to be effective or succesful.
I rather be a mentor than a friend. And frankly don´t see much use in a teacher trying to be a friend. Friendly, yes. I feel my role as a teacher is more of a mentor than a friend, always concious of the legacy you leave behind.
Hi Guadalupe,
That's right! Get blunt with them if need be so that they know you are their instructor and not their friend.
Patricia
I tell my students in class I am your instructor not your friend.
Re: Carolyn
I agree that it is the best policy not to "friend" students, allow texting or giving your cell phone number out. Some colleges/schools even have policies regarding "friending." My college has a strict policy about "friending." They don't allow it. After they graduate, I think that is okay to keep in contact with your students, but still on a professional level. Otherwise, you will lose the respect of your students.
Hi Carolyn,
That's right! Hold yourself to very high standards. We are in the profession to educate our students not befriend them.
Patricia
I don't "friend" students or allow texting with me.
We have had three teachers get too friendly with students since I've been teaching at one school that I was teaching at a few years ago.
Hi Brandi,
Unreal, the student/instructor relationship should be strictly professional. There are too many problems that can come about by having a personal relationship with students.
Patricia
I agree with having respect from students first, then adding friendship later. I have seen a few instructors that give out their cell phone number to a few students and they will txt back and forth after class hours about personal issues. This is crossing the line !
Hi Jeremy,
Instructors need to fully understand the difference between being friendly and befriending students. Befriending students is definitely a negative.
Patricia
