Before a coaching session with an employee I make sure I have all of my facts straight and I have observed the employee. When communicating with them it is important to remain calm and pleasent, making them feel that they can trust that I am there to coach them, not only critize.
I believe observing performance and behavior prior to the coaching session would be useful. Next step would be to create an open trusting listening environment to set up an ongoing dialogue.
I think recognizing successes is very important to this process. When someone starts feeling like a negative finger is being pointed at them, they might shut down. Starting out with positive comments and being a good listener are, in my opinion, two of the most important aspects of creating trust and a good rapport.
Laura,
Great thoughts. And in regard to noting the issue, it's important to share your perspective or the way you see it as that--the way you see it. Make sure that you are helping the other person to see how their actions are impacting those around them. We are not saying they are a bad employee or student, etc. We are sharing with them how their actions are impacting others.
Ryan
First, I try my best to put the student (more appropriate to my situation than an employee, since I'm an instructor) at ease and just inquire as to how they're feeling, in general, about there progress overall in a class. Then I share with them my observations about any particular skills that I feel need reinforcement, and ask them for their thoughts on my observations, as to whether they agree.
Whenever I suggest that a strategy is needed in order to improve a particular skill, I always make it a point to correlate the relevancy of developing that skill to the demand for that skill in the career for which the student is training. If a student can understand that he/she will be perceived as more professional and competent when that skill is honed, thus enhancing performance on the job, this is a very motivating force and a concrete reason for the student to agree to accept my suggestion.
Cynthia,
This is great & I'm so thrilled to see you approaching these conversations in this way. I especially applaud the "accountability" aspect or observing. Coaching does have a "report in" aspect & we don't want to lose sight of that. Great job!
Ryan
In my role as an instructor, I first observe my student's demeanor while in class. Is he tired? Does he seem excited in the learning process? Is he stressed out? Is he showing the effort to achieve success, i.e., turning in homework, doing well on assessments, etc. Should the negative be the case, I ask the student if he would like to sit down with me and discuss his thoughts and/or concerns, possibly what may be hindering his progress and what he/we can do to turn that around in a positive fashion. I may share with him some of my experiences during my schooling and what may have helped me to succeed in order to see if maybe it might be of help in his situation. We then come to an agreement on what the "plan" is to be as far as getting done what needs to get done, at which time I then go back to being an observer as the "plan" is played out (hopefully). I feel it is very important while in these meetings to stay "tuned in" to what my student shares with me, listen carefully, giving feedback only when I feel it's called for. I then thank my student for sharing with me their thoughts, praise their efforts thus far, and advise that I am here to help them succeed, and that having goals and wanting to better yourself through education is always a huge accomplishment.
Listening with an open mind is the first skill to follow so you can objectively view the situation.
To prepair I would note the issue in a straight forward manner.
In a previous position, I would prepare and lead my coaching sessions with my subordinate supervisors by first observing their behaviors on the job, and making mental notes regarding anything I needed to address. I would start by praising them for their positive activities, then I would mention that I had noticed some concerns.
The communication skills I believe are most important are honesty, focused body language, and asking questions that would lead the coachee to understand that I was trying to get them to be candid about their needs and expectations of me as well.
That's a great paraphrase, and very true. I can't force coaching on someone else and expect it to be effective. Truly they are the agent of change, I am just a facilitator as a coach and a guide.
Eric,
Your post made me think of something I heard from an effective leader & developer of others: it is dangerous to want something more for someone than they want for themselves.
I think this is what you are saying, the other person has to want the coaching & embrace it for it to be truly effective.
Ryan
Personally, that has always been a tough one for me to accept emotionally. Many times my response to folks who truly aren't in a place to be coached is to try to somehow influence them to be ready to be coached....which of course, is just coaching.
I am learning though that it is a two way street and one truly can't MAKE someone else ready for something. They have to be the instigator for their own change, the role of a coach is supportive.
Some great points Eric. I think one of the most important things is that the coachee has to be ready to be coached. If he/she is not ready, then I am wasting both of our time.
Ryan
Not only being a active listener asking open ended questions is key but also being positive with your employee. Recognizing their successes even if they are doing something wrong allows them to be more open because it shows them that you do recognize good things they are doing. Identifying what they need to work on wile keeping the success in their mind will help them build and improve what they were weak on.
I think the most important thing that I personally took away from this course is the concept of coaching employees who are open to coaching. If someone is not open, or willing to hear coaching, it is not effective.
For this reason, I think being an active listener, asking open ended questions and truly enlisting the coachee in his or her development needs to be the primary focus in any coaching session.
Readiness for coaching is not a static state. It is dynamic, and a good coach who can be a sounding board and help the coachee to identify hir or her needs for coaching through empathetic listening and open ended questions can better enlist and thus help an employee grow.
Yes, absolutely! And when we can approach with objectivity & without the emotionally charged stance, we stand a better chance of helping the other person to do the same.
Ryan
I think that listening and observing are the most important communication tools in the coaching process. Being prepared and having a specific agenda for the conversation is important but so is the interplay between the two parties (coach and coachee). I thought an important part of this lesson was to approach such sessions without a charged emotional stance. Objectivity is important to really hear and see what is in front of you.
Great thoughts, especially regarding your comment on seeking their ideas on making improvements. A key aspect of coaching is to let the "coachee" do a lot of self-discovery, rather than feeling the need to "tell" them how to do something.
Ryan
It's important to acknowledge and recognize the accomplishments on goals set. Then make suggestions on how one can continue to develop and further reach the goals that are established. Seek their ideas on how to make improvements in refining steps to reach goal.
Yes and another aspect of listening is paying attention to know if the other person really wants you to say anything at all. Sometimes we get too busy listening so we can then solve their problem or show how "smart" we are, when really they just want someone to listen. This is important too.
Ryan
