Racene,
You bring up a great point, it's not just about what the student is communicating through their body language, tone, etc., but also what is happening in the room and in the lives of our students.
Dr. Jean Norris
pay more attention to what is happening around you with your students.
Focus more on the person & listening as well. For me they go hand in hand. One helps out the other & I get a more clear read on a person.
Monique, great points here. You are using several great techniques such as listening in a global fashion - with your eyes and ears. Then you are also using a reflecting and rephrasing technique in order to make sure you understand what the other person is trying to communication. Great job.
Dr. Jean Norris
In order to improve my ability to read people, I feel I need to pay close attention to the words spoken, tones of voice, body posture and body language. And then I think I should ask the person appropriate questions about what I think I am sensing, to test if my reading is accurate. It is very dangerous to assume we know what another person is thinking. Without their input, it is far too easy to misinterpret their words and actions. For instance, a person speaking quietly may lack confidence, but perhaps they are trying to be considerate of the noise level. They could be a very private person who wishes not to be overheard, or a person who likes others to pay close attention to what they are saying. In this case, I would ask something like, "You have such a gentle way of speaking. Where does this trait come from?" The person may or may not choose to enlighten me, but by asking I have demonstrated interest in them and perhaps gained trust.
I believe you have to make a conscience choice to work on your ability to read people. Watching for their shift in body language, voice tone and observing their likes and dislikes. Paying attention to these subtle clues and help you quickly build rapport. I am going to work on paying better attention to the subtle clues.
I think in a typical conversation, I've been more aware of the body language I portray and how I'm being "read" than about trying to "read" someone else. I understand a bit more now, how its important to understaning a person more fully. Reading people is really about gaining a deeper level of understanding more quickly. I will staret to pay more attention to body language, tone, posture, eye contact to see if they are clues to deeper meaning in my conversations.
I can improve my ability to read people better by considering all aspects of how people communicate. Body language such as yawning can indicate the person is bored. A high tone of voice may indicate the person is nervous. Someone who is looking down instead at me may be intimidated.
I can best improve my ability to read people better by first being more observant and mindful of someone's body language and their eye contact or lack thereof. I especially should watch their hands and their eyes as they talk to me and as they listen to me speak.
I personally will make an effort to watch my own body language. At times, I have a tendancy to think of a solution to a problem that I have heard and think of what I am going to say next. When this happens; I am also trying hard to maintain eye contact, but I am not "really listening" just thinking about what I am going to say that will give a solution to a problem that I may have heard. The problem is, what I heard may only be an underlining point of the major concern, and not actually "the true" concern.
I am not sure how my body language comes off in these times.
I will try to be a better listener and I believe in doing so, my body language will also portay that I am interested in what the person is saying as well.
Devin, great response here. Yes, having a genuine interest in someone will allow you to open up as well and be more able to really understand what is going on with the other person. Nice work.
Dr. Jean Norris
Joseph, as they say, "Practice makes perfect." It sounds like you have a plan to improve reading people. Please let us know how this works for you.
Dr. Jean Norris
Michelle, sure. The communication hierarchy can be a great tool to help build rapport and understand the flow of a conversation. Offering opinions is OK once you know you have received permission from the other person to do so.
Dr. Jean Norris
Ed, thanks for sharing this. It sounds like you are listening for verbal cues as to how someone may feel or be responding. Nice job.
Dr. Jean Norris
Heather, interesting point. Using the modeling technique can be a way to show the student a more positive way to respond. I'm curious, have you modeled this before and the potential student doesn't follow?
Dr. Jean Norris
Hannah, thanks for sharing your personal experience here. It sounds like you plan to improve your listening skills in order to read people better over the phone. Keep us posted on the results.
Dr. Jean Norris
Jessica, that's a great point. So based on that information, what would be an appropriate response to a student that may not sound engaged on the phone?
Dr. Jean Norris
Ashley, thanks for the feedback here. It looks like you will use different skills to learn more about the prospective student such as body language. Great work.
Dr. Jean Norris
Ashley, it sounds like you have a plan in order to read people over the phone. Keep us posted of the results.
Dr. Jean Norris
I also do not have face to face meetings, but it is good to know that we are typically more confident in face to face settings. What I would like to do is translate some of these skills of listening over the phone and maximize the capacity of my voice tone of 45%.
