Rapport
Can you become too friendly with a student while establishng a rapport that crosses over from student/teacher to student/friend?
Amjad,
Right you are about respect. It must be earned and it is two way. Students need to understand that as you extend respect to them they need to see that you are working to earn their respect as well.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I remind my students that "To be respected, be respectful".
Firstly, students have to be respectful to their classmates, (not disrupting class,not using personal devices, cleaning up after themselves. etc.)
I respect the students and in turn they respect me (well, most of the time!)
LYDIA,
A good reminder for all instructors. We are the learning leaders of our classes and that must be remembered in relation to our interaction with our students in all settings.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Yes, you can become too friendly with a student when establishing rapport. I need to be careful that I don't cross the student/teacher to student/friend relationship. I can be friendly, share stories but do not become their friend.
Mahmood,
There is a saying "when you are listening you are learning and when you are talking you are not." Listening to your students will help a lot in the development of rapport with them.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
You should listen and care about your students but never make them feel that you are their friend.
These boundaries do get crossed but if the foundation of professionalism and roles of responsibility do not become compormised, this is will not be an issue.
Lance,
This is an important point to remember as we need to strive to always focus on keeping the course on target and our relationship with the students in a positive vein. This is how they build their own professional profile.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Yes, it may take time to gain trust and a rapport with students, but once that is made it only takes one situation to have it cross into a negative and too personal to effectively instruct them from that point forward.
Carl,
Thank you for these comments as they are right on in terms of how rapport is developed with students. It is an ongoing process that yields many rewards for all those involved.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Establishing rapport with a student comes when both respect and understand the goals and objectives of each other and commit to help each other to accomplish those goals. This leads to the underlying trust that is the foundation of good rapport.
Brenda,
Earn and give respect which sets the tone for the class and then build rapport from there and you will have a positive and supportive learning environment. Good point.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I completely agree. Students must understand that you are the instructor and they are the students.
Katherine,
These types of discussions are an important part of the learning process for students. Having the opportunity to talk about professional boundaries and ethical relationships needs to be a part of the development process for students.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
Our school has an extremely well defined boundary spelled out in the initial employment contract.
I do my best to be personable and friendly in a very professional way.
There have been times when I was sorry to be so heavily restricted, because my students are mostly good people I would love to have as friends and hope to have as colleagues... AND I appreciate being able to gracefully decline personal invitations from anyone I work with because of the structure of my contract, it is nothing personal.
Also, when the question comes up about the teacher/student relationship boundaries it is always a good opening to discuss the sort of boundaries they will later have to establish with their clients as licensed professionals.
Tracy,
Thank you for these comments about student relationships. As learning leaders we can earn student respect and develop rapport with them but we cannot get too close because we are not their peers.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
You absolutely can ~ and it cannot happen!! I have an excellent rapport with my students but there is ALWAYS a line that is not crossed by either party. It's a skill, it really is. Even if I sound as if I am tooting my own horn (toot), I have that skill and never get caught in a compromising position. I have, however, seen other get caught in it and it does NOT lead anywhere good. It's a very fine balance and it's important to know where the line is drawn!
Nadia,
Right you are. You are the learning leader and so you must make sure you are always conducting yourself as a professional.
Gary
Gary Meers, Ed.D.
I think you can become too friendly. You have to be careful and make sure you do not cross that line between student and teacher.
