Get Your Students Hired
Hi Patricia,
Thank you very much. I have learned to meet the student where they are at versus reacting to their mood or comments. Plus, it demonstrates to the other students how situations will be handled should they occur again in the class.
:) Brenda
Listen, and instead of stoopng to their level, let them know that you care about whatever it is bothering them.
I ask the student to step out of the class. I try not engage an angry students alone. I find that students tend to change their story when they are brought into the director's office.
I also like the idea of having the students write their complaints down. I can see how that can be very effective.
Hi Brenda,
I like how you tactfully and carefully handle the angry student. You use a very calming demeanor.
Patricia Scales
When you see teachers get their backs up, you know their response will need to be fixed. I see this more with teachers who are insecure and feel they must have all the answers.
Listening before reminding the student of the appropriate behavior really makes the instructor look as a better example for the student.
When I have an angry student, during break or after class, I ask to speak with the student to see what is going on. More often than not, it is something outside of class that they have brought with them.
However, if they are disruptive in class, I will have the class go on break so I can talk with the student to find out what is going on. Of course, I wouldn't send them on break if the angry student in not disruptive in class. I will then approach them on our regularly scheduled break or after class.
Regardless, I do not call them out during class or try to engage them in class discussion. I have found that by doing this will make the student more angry or become very disruptive in class, which is counterproductive.
If I notice that the student walks into class angry, I will usually ask them at the beginning of class to find out what is going on--only by kneeling down beside them to find out what is going on. This will also usually diffuse the student from whatever they brought with them.
December 21, 2011
What has worked for me is making time for the student as quickly as possible. Once that time has been set aside, I allow the student to vent in the manner that is comfortable for them. Of course, no violence, but at times, a student may only be accustomed to speaking in a tone or tongue that they have always been accustomed to.
With that, there may be cursing and their voice may be raised. I just ask them at that point to try to calm and collect themselves as I truly want to hear their concerns. If they are unable, I tell them that in all fairness to me and for me to remain objective, they need to return later to discuss the issue with me when they've calmed down.
Once all is manageable and tolerable, I repeat their concern as I've interpreted it for clarity. I remain calm and attempt to make sure that I do not repeat what their complaint is with any inflection in my voice that sounds judgmental or indignant.
When they feel that I understand their complaint, I ask them what I can do to make the situation better for them. Usually, they spout off an unreasonable expectation because it is instant gratification to get that off of their chest. Once I repeat that to them and ask them if that truly is what they desire or if it seems even rational to them, they hear their own words and realize that it is certainly not a reasonable expectation.
In the majority of these situations, most of the students just need 'a shoulder' or 'an ear' or, they are just looking for someone to 'fix' their dilemma.
At that point, I help them approach it with a way they can envision making the situation more tolerable for themselves.
JFO
Taking the angry student to another location helps to keep the other students from buying into the frustrated student's opinions and resentments. Sometimes the discussion may involve more than one student, however, and may have to be addressed with the class.
I find that angry students are not the deep breathers. I take the deep breaths myself. I agree that listening helps diffuse the anger. I may ask the student to sit down with me (so we are both at the same level) and write down "what happened." I find that our perceptions are often like the Rabbit-Duck illusion. We work from there. Angry students have told me they appreciate my hearing out their side of the story.
The very first thing is to listen; the second thing is to show respect for his opinion and third avoid interrupting. I've found that quite often several things occurs.
(a)The student may have a point
(b)Letting the student vent calms them down and your initial impression of this "wild and crazy" is actually quite reasonable and personable.
(c)once we reach that point we can proceed with what is now a conversion,vs. a confrontation.
I have to remember to stop, take a deep breath, and ask the student to calmly express his/her discontentment SO THAT we can resolve any issues we're having. Listening, not reacting, really is the best way to go about it.
I protect myself from being isolated in a room alone with an angry person. "Back-to-the-wall" is my motto learned from years of working with patients with emotional disturbances. I always want a direct way out of a room. If I do not have it right when the angry student comes in, I walk around until I am at the door.
I found it funny that the class materials mention "him" but has most often been "her" in my case.
Usually, there is a trigger that is small and a lot of backstory to the anger. I try to give the student an outlet to vent, even if I am the one they are angry at. Sometimes just letting them tell me that they are angry is enough to resolve the issue because they no longer feel powerless.
We have a series of school administrators to handle student issues form academic performance issue to personal issues and they form an excellent resource! Because a lot of times, I am the LAST person an angry student wants to deal with!
When I get a angry student in class I would ask him our her to step outside so I can have a little talk so I can find out why they are so angry. Some times this works if they are not mad at me about something and they don’t want to talk to me.
I ask them why are they mad at me and what can I do to help you and what for a replay from the student. I tell the student if I do not know what happened I can’t fix it
I was happy to find the course content directing us teachers to listen to the angry student. I would add to give eye contact when listening. I want to listen but not to let the student take up class time with his personal agenda. I think that after listening, I will say to the next angry student, "I see there is an issue to discuss here. Let's talk about it after class." A colleague of mine did this yesterday and the student was irate at having to wait until the class was over. The angry student then accused my colleague of making him late for work.
I also liked the advice to ask the student to put the complaint in written format. I will investigate what process we have here that speaks to doing this.
Thanks.
above all, you must remain calm. listen to the student, let them vent and decompress some before trying to talk to them about whatever has made them angry. be empathetic, but resolute. more often than not, whatever set the student off, is an influence outside the class, and getting angry in class is just an excuse for them to try to get angry at whatever the outside influence was.
Hi Michhael,
Listening is key! Sometimes it helps tremendously just to have the angry student vent.
Patricia Scales
My students will call me to vent, I stop what I'm doing to give them my full attention. I repeat back to them what they have said the root of their anger is, if it has something to do with the classroom I tell them that I will definitely look into it. I also thank them for calling and voicing their concern. Once the issue has been resolved I check back with the student to follow up with them. I feel by doing this it also shows the student that I truly care.
Listening is the response the course has given but there needs to be a "guiding hand" of the conversation. Listening alone is not enough. You have to be sure to keep the angry student on topic and the subject matter relevant to their concern otherwise, they can monopolize the lecture time. Definitely listen to their concerns but know when their time for venting needs to stop.
I try to be patient when dealing with angry students by listening to their complaint(s); consulting with them about any problems they may have and trying to help them resolve their problems.