Actions to Improve Listening
What action do you need to take to improve your listening skills?
@jean I want the person to really feel "heard," and also to be sure I actually did hear correctly, so I will make a habit of repeating back to them what they told me, and ask, "is that right?" This requires me to actually be listening to them closely, knowing I will reflect the essence of their communication back to them. I believe this will also make the person feel like what they have to say is important to me, and that I am really engaged in the conversation.
This may sound ridiculous but I make sure I have snacks on hand all the time. I realized over the years that I had a shorter temper when hungry. I used to skip lunch all the time.
Listen clear through their statements. Don't interrupt. Also, I like the idea of responding first to the feeling, then to the content. Don't be too quick to judge what is really being said.
Great question, Shirelette! It can certainly be frustrating when a conversation partner gets off track. I've found that it helps to interject with the phrase, "So you're telling me..." followed by whatever they have just said about the off-topic subject. This typically won't offend them because it lets them know you are listening, and it often "jars" them back to the original subject or gives you the opportunity to gently steer them back. Give it a try and check back in!
Elizabeth Wheeler
I try to stay more in-tuned to what someone is saying to me, often jotting down notes to use as a reference. I often get irritated when I notice that the other person is talking off-subject, which places me in an some-what uncomfortable position to get them to refocus.
How can I get someone to focus on the subject at-hand without making them feel like I am not interested in off-topics, which I am not?
Barry, Great awareness! These "aha" moments are what help us grow. Thank you for posting.
Elizabeth Wheeler
As the director of the school, anyone -- a colleague or student -- may engage me in conversation while I am going from one place to another. I usually talk to them where we are, but I need to try to bring them to my office and sit and listen effectively to them.
I sometimes fall in the trap of listening to my own voice too much , and need to let the other person speak more.
Gina, Great awareness! So often we find ourselves compartmentalizing each student according to what we have heard before, and becoming lax in our body language. What are some things you are doing to help make each of these awareness's improve?
Dr. Jean Norris
I need to remain cognizant of my body language. Also, no matter how many years I work in higher education, I need to stay focused on the student in front of me and not cut him/her off or anticipate what he/she are going to say.
Katelyn, Again, great awareness. Thank you for sharing in the forum!
Dr. Jean Norris
I believe I fall into this as well, although my internal listening is mostly repeating my "to-do lists" while others are talking. I know I need to put that aside while I'm meeting with someone, the list will still be there when the meeting is done and I shouldn't be worried about it at that point.
teresa, Thank you for being so honest! I always like to consider how I would feel if someone isn't listening to me.
Elizabeth Wheeler
I think I need to focus more when listening to other people because I sometimes get tired and in my opinion it's unprofessional to not pay attention to somebody
Brian, I understand exactly what you are experiencing. Once I became aware of the problem I was able to create a action plan. I took time to identify my prospects strengths and encouraged them to use this as a tool to overcome obstacles. Instead of always comparing someone to yourself; identify what makes them a "unique individual".
When it comes to listening I'm the one who thinks they are pretty good listener. While all along I miss what your saying because I"m listening to my internal voice. I think I need to calm my internal voice and use focused and global listening more.
I will keep my eyes, ears and heart open to better assist my students.
Juan, Great awareness! Keep working on keeping your eyes, ears, and heart open so true listening can take place.
Elizabeth Wheeler
I just found out that I fall in so many traps in listening. In order for me to improve my listening skill I need to stop thinking about what they want or what I think they want and just listen to what they are telling me. I also find myself thinking that I already know what they need and what they are going to ask for, instead of just starting with a blank mind.
