It can be difficult, especially when the story seems to be one you've heard before. It's crucial, when helping others, to remind ourselves that each person has their own story and set of experiences. Being aware of what limits your ability to truly listen to another is the first step to becoming more flexible when listening.
This can be challenging indeed, Kelly. My guess - you're not alone as far as this being a listening limitation. The good news is that you are aware of how you limit your listening, which means you have the ability to adapt when you catch yourself doing these things. How do you plan to adapt your listenining the next time you find this happening?
That's great awareness to have, Jason. It can be difficult to devote our entire focus on another individual, especially when you're busy. What might you do in your next conversation to overcome your listening limit?
I tend to multitask a lot. I am constantly thinking about worries in my life. I also allow outside noise to interfere with my ability to listen.
Besides turning up the volume on my internal voice I also have a tendency to finish others people sentences when I feel I have heard it all or experienced it all. I sometimes do this when I want them to talk faster.
I limit my listening skills by being impatient. I have a tendency at this point to assume that I have heard it all or experienced it first hand instead of taking into the consideration from whom it is coming from. I also have a tendency to turn up the volume on my internal voice and become bored with a conversation I have assumed to already have heard or experienced. People like to disccuss themselves the most and I think it is often difficult for people to step out of the selfish mode and into active listening mode.
I tend to do alot of internal listening. Itr doesn't matter if I am talking to my wife, a student, a teacher or a co-worker I tend to always be think about my next move or what I need to get done that day.
Ania, it sounds like you have a great awareness to what hinders your listening. Do you have an action plan for improvement?
Sometimes I tend to think about other things than to listen. I need to work on that. I also think that is because I hear the same story over and over so I already know what is coming.
I catch myself doing the same thing and have to refocus. My mind wanders off into other things or else I'm trying to find the space to jump in with my response before I forget what amazing thing:) I was going to say. This is a most informative CEU and is reawakening my desire to be a better listener. Even though I think of myself as a good listener practically all the listening traps applied to me at one time or another. I have redetermined to hone my listening skills!
It sounds like one of the ways you can see your listening being limited is if a great deal of information is being given at one time, would you say that's right, Emma? Having to sift through a lot of information to determine how to respond can be challenging. I'm curious to know how setting time limits has helped you in the past with your listening?
Limiting a response is base by a time response. In the military a commader can be overwhelmed with information. A decision needs to be made and too much information can be dangerous. Setting a time limit for responses forces many to only project what is important to them and not general terms. A decision right or wrong is base on information. Too much or too little is cancerous. A time limit sets priorities.
I recognized myself in more than one of the listening traps described in this module. I don’t think I was aware of how much I do limit my listening. I knew I often was impatient and anxious to move on when listening (I was just too busy to listen). Also, when I listen, I am in the constant process of forming my answer. I want people to think I’m intelligent so I often prepare what I’m going to say so that I can sound smart. I also have been a “know-it-all†in listening. That way of thinking stops the listening process because you’ve made a judgment and don’t need to hear any more. I’ve often let my past history limit my listening.
It's good that you are aware of one of your listening limitations, Mina. And it sounds like this is something that you are committed to improving. What do you think you can do today to help you become more focused on the individual in front of you?
I agree, not being focused on the other person is a weakness of mine. I will definitely try harder.
Mina
This can be a tough one, Jon, especially if the individual you're having a conversation with senses that you've lost interest in the conversation. What are some things you do to help you to regain your focus when you start losing interest?
When you are not interested in the conversation.
It sounds like you've got a good understanding of what might be impeding your listening in certain circumstances, Rina. Deciding with every conversation to pay close attention to the other person can be rewarding, not only for you but for the person you are having the conversation with too. What specifically do you plan to do when you notice your mind wandering?
I have a bad habit of Internal listening. I think about other things, whether it be solutions before a problem is fully explained, or things like, "I really need to get this e-mail sent." I will consciously make an effort to pay closer attention when listening and avoid letting my mind wonder.
Ah yes, it can be challenging to focus your listening when the topic at hand isn't of any interets to you, Maricelly. I think it's safe to guess that this is a common way that people limit their listening.
It's possilbe that there may be a time when you're trying to assist a student and are uninterested in what s/he is saying. What might you do to prevent yourself from not listening when this occurs?
