Listening to student talking on and on...
I consider myself as a good listener, because I don't like the feeling of not being listened to, so I always give my full attention to others when they want to talk to me. “Repeat, rephrase and reflect†is what I like to use most of the time to keep the communication going and making sure I have fully understand the content of the conversation. But even a good listener can sometimes encounter difficulties and frustrations especially in school as an admissions representative. For example, when a student talks on and on about anything and everything about his/her lives, problems, and what happened to his/her cats, it gets difficult to figure out what exactly they are looking for but to be a good listener. What should I do in such situation? How do I stop listening without being "impolite" or looking like I am not interested or impatient? How do I get them to tell me what is it that they really want so I can really listen to them and respond appropriately?
I recognize that I am not at my best on the phone - and one of the previous modules brought that home to me. One of the reasons I dislike phone calls is that I have always had difficulty engaging in endless chatter about 'how is the weather there?' and similar topics. I now understand there is a purpose in some degree of small talk - to establish or maintain a rapport.
Your post is about an admission interview, but from a tip from the previous module re phone calls, I have started to make a few points on a sticky note to keep me on track during a phone call. It works! And I am no longer put off by some chat re weather or last night's ball game, because I have built a little time into my 'script' for that.
So ... I can see how a script for an admissions interview could help stay on track time wise, while still allowing for the important elements that build trust. It seems to me that it's a fine line, but with practice I can see how admissions interviews could become more effective (more win-wins) without sounding 'canned'.
I simply feel, personally, that there needs to be some balance in all of this, and it is up to the AR to provide that in professional way, without coming across as uncaring or pushy.
Hello Kelly, you raise an interesting, yet common, issue.
I've found that the use of an interview script will keep the conversation structured and focussed. A well written script has the power to lead a student through the Socratic method of questioning and lead them through to finding the answers to their own objections - which is far more powerful than "telling" them the answers to their issues. I also agree with the previous response indicating that is someone is opening up to you that you have made them feel safe enough to open up. The key is pulling out of them the relevant information which is critical to finding out if school is right for them, and if so, what objections may keep them starting right away and dealing with those one by one until they are all eliminated.
Great question!
Kelly, I know exactly what you are talking about. However, the fact that they are talking on and on to you like that indicates that you have built rapport and trust. I had a student who came in and had never been to college. He grew up in a tough environment. At first he was stand offish with me as if he did not trust me. We started building rapport when we started talkig about sports. We started to connect, he was upset with himself that he missed an interception his senior year in a championship high school football game. He talked about the one play for 10 minutes. I listened to him and asked him what he learned from it. After that he started telling me about his life growing up and how hard it was, his current job which he had been for six years without a promotion. My response was that by going to school it would enhance his opportunitys in the future. There were many other things he kept talking and talking about. My approach was that I listened and responded. The interview was more than three hours. The student is now in his third term and he just got a promotion to manage a new restaurant that opened because the owner recognized his initiative to go back to school!
