How personal is ok?
I have had students with problems and have tried to help,sometimes I am blown away with how much they tell us. How far is ok and what subjects do we aviod? Is there a fine line? I think so but am curiuos to know others opinions.
I try not to get to involved with their problems but like you said you can not help it sometimes. I often wonder if I am getting to involved with their problems. I have not been able to find that line yet.
I am willin to discuss issues that directly relate to the students success and education, but I always refer the student to a "professional" if the problem goes beyond issues related to their education. I don't want to be too personal with my students, but I also don't want to come across as uncaring.
When I have talked to any of my students about what was bothering them, as soon as I figured it was past my expeirence level I send them to see our appropriate staff to rectify there problems.
When it comes to students with personal problems, I let them know that I am not here to judge them nor give advise other then to help direct them to the appropriate department. A lot of times they already know the answers and just need to know that someone cares enough to recognize they are struggling.
Yes there absolutely is a fine line. Determining where that line lies will come from experience and balance. Not all situations are the same and that line is going to shift and move with relevance to the individual you are currently working with. At the same time, common business sense is going to be needed to know what subjects are off limits and how far to take the questionable matters. If one lacks that common sense, I'm sure you're organization has taken care of that and has provided you with clear concise boundaries and the set expectations of action.
I've also found myself dumbfounded by some of the information that my current and past students will come and discuss with me. I'm assuming that they feel more comfortable speaking with me than someone in student services that they are not familiar with, but at times it has even made me feel uncomfortable. For confidentiality's sake, I usually do not share what they are telling me with anyone, unless the issue is causing harm to their environment or education. Just being there for them to vent to is occasionally all they need and if there really is an issue, that is when I will get other parties involved at the student's discretion.
Most of the students who have approached me with personal problems just needed someone to talk to. Fortunately I haven’t had many students come to me with huge issues. Sometimes you get the ones stressing over transportation or housing. They know we have things in place to help them but felt better having someone to gripe to. Its funny how most of the issues we hear are things that happened to us or our friends when we were their age.
I think this is the right approach we have to be very carefull not to get into a area where we can cause more trouble than good.
Guy, I agree. I have helped many students by just taking the time to listen to what they have to say. I have also found that with the way todays society is, broken homes, that I find myself in the role of father figure / mentor as well. There are many studnts that do not have that in there life and come to rely on us for guidence in many areas. I find I talk to students about many things related and non related to my course. I listen carefully, ask questions, give guidence and/or direction on what to do or I will send them to the appropriate person/group for help.
For what it's worth,it has been my experience that most people just need someone to talk to. Listening to a students problem will sometimes allow them to see the direction they need to go or answer the problem for themselves. There are many times when I will direct them to someone else when I cannot help them. We are not trained to delve into certain problems, personal or otherwise, but we can listen and hopefully guide them to someone who can help.
Getting too personal may be best for professional people that may have professional help available. Sometimes the personal side of us would like to help everyone in our paths, but reality is -we just do not have all the wright answers, therefore falling back to square one and that is referring them to a professional.
I think one should be able to talk about anything the student needs to talk about. Talk and active involvement are two different things. The students willingness to talk about certain issues can gage how far the conversation can go without offending the student. All stress affects all parts of our lives - a problem affecting the students performance may involve touchy issues - drugs, sex, illegal activities - sometimes we can't help, but we can suggest counselling or other options (and even research those options for the students in question.)
It is important to always listen. We are not licensed to solve their problems, sometimes all they need is a shoulder to lean on.
It can be challenging to respond to a student's needs and manage their reluctance to meet with counselor that they don't know. How do you handle the process of getting them connected with the professionals, Don?
Do you think this generation of students has different issues than previous ones, or are they just more open about them?
It is really a shock with how much (just in the last year or so) the students have opened up to what is bothering them. Some of the things that they have said has really floored me. I do feel bad when I see the need to have them talk with someone else trained to handle it.
My heart always goes out to the students and their needs. We just need to remember that we are not trained counselers. We are automotive instructors. Although, there are some cases when we are the first father figure that a student may have encountered in his life, they will want to open up to us because they know that we care and they need direction.I believe that it is our responsibility to give them the direction that they are asking for by sending them to the professionals.
Listening is the first key to solutions, but we also need to as you mentioned, keep in mind the legality and the morality of what we can act upon.
I think a case by case basis is needed for such personal problems. THere is definately a fine line that cannot be crossed, as this could even lead to law issues.
