Most of us have had mentors that significantly influenced our thoughts, actions and directions. Can you explain how one or two mentors have truly impacted your life? What effect has that had on your role as a career educator?
I have had several mentors play vital roles in various facets of my life. First and foremost would be my parents. They not only instilled my ethics and values, but they were excellent role models. It was never “do as I say not as I do†growing up. They allowed me to experience life on life’s terms and acted as a guide all along the way.
While in school, I had one professor that truly became my mentor. He basically took me under his wing and helped me to become the doctor and educator that I am today. He showed me how to apply the information I was learning in a practical and applicable way. He showed me how to be compassionate and how to truly communicate with people.
Professionally, I have worked with two Directors of Education that had a profound effect on my role in career education. They showed me how to relate to students that I had no idea how to relate to. They helped me find a way to reach students that I thought were “unreachableâ€. They instilled in me “every student every dayâ€. This has been invaluable.
Rose,
What are one or two specific things this teacher did to "show he was human?"
Jeffrey Schillinger
I had an English professor a an undergraduate who had a very positive affect on me and my career. He was a very bright and intelligent teacher, who never forgot he was human. He cared about all of his students, and related the coursework to everyday life.
My greatest mentors have taught me a lot about management and what makes a good manager, specifically they both had very quiet/ gentle leadership styles in a way that when they were around you wanted to be hard at work and taking what you were doing seriously (as they did) and whenever they asked you to do anything you did it right away, as they didn't ask a lot from you so when they did you obliged right away... they commanded and got a lot of respect but never had to ask for it. I guess that is what I try to model for my students as well...
He was always very patient and supportive, made me believe in myself. I display the same characteristics with my students.
Richard,
What is one specific thing he did that you now do to position yourself as a possible mentor to your students?
Jeffrey Schillinger
One of my mentors was the very first chef I worked with. He not only shared his knowledge of the art of cookery but also his passion for it. To this day he has a very big influence on how I deal with my instructors and the students.
I remember how he was always willing to share which makes me want to share as well.
I've had many mentors - some were intentionally assigned, others just seemed to unintentionally step into the mentoring role. Some were great mentors, helping to lift me up and evolve, while others fell a little short and into the "This is what I should not do" category. (I find it necessary to learn something from everyone and every situation.) I have found that locating mentors on my own as opposed to having them arbitrarily assigned, assigned by someone else, or formally assigned/designated works better for my personality and goals.
There are two specific mentors that I was ready for and who have been with me for decades specifically influencing my “thoughts, actions, and directionsâ€: one gave birth to me and the other is a self-ascribed ‘second mother’. I find this slightly ironic since I personally will not have children, but I do recognize the necessity of the mother role, stepping out of the mother role, and occasionally indulging my maternal side, as evidenced with my students over my eight years in career education. The aforementioned material is not meant to offer the connotation of ‘mothering’ or ‘coddling’ on anyone’s part, but simply to exemplify the data presented in MaxKnowledge lectures The 3Ms, Intelligent Heart, and the Self-Efficacy.
So, how have they, my birth mother, Janet, and my second mother, Charlene, impacted my life? My birth mother is a resourceful, compassionate, quirky, intelligent, giving woman with a generally upbeat and positive attitude, demeanor, and disposition. It’s not an act for her – her traits are sincere. I have learned from her to allow my similar traits to shine and show through, including the quirkiness, so anyone actually paying attention will know I am also coming from a sincere place – that there are aspects to my personality and subsequently interactions with others that cannot be faked. Nor should they be faked. The moment I find myself faking anything, I know it’s time to adjust, time to change.
I admire Charlene for many reasons and chief among them is that she is unafraid to take risks and she has lived her life on her own terms, accepting responsibility for her mistakes, but not allowing those mistakes to restrain her from continuing on her successful, chosen path. Whether it’s a thought, an action, or a behavior, when something isn’t working, Charlene accepts the need to try something else. She acknowledges that change is inevitable, should be embraced and indulged rather than feared and limited, in order to achieve new heights, new successes.
How have these mentors had an effect on my role as a career educator? The results are profound, actually. When I hit a stumbling block, an obstacle in my professional life as a career educator, rather then internalize it and take it personally, I am now able to objectively assess it, determine its relevancy, and move forward with a decision. In fact, the more I practice this technique, the more it comes naturally and benefits my overall outlook and efficiency.
Dianne,
Thank you for this post. What do are some specific things you do to position yourself as a possible mentor for your students?
Jeffrey Schillinger
My mentor was the Dean of School of Science in my Junior year in college who reaffirm my confidence that if you want it badly, despite all odds, you can achieve it. From the first time i met her till i graduated college, she made sure that stayed in touch with me either through her secretary or my instructor to be sure that my needs are being met and encouraged me through her personal stories as well.
The mentors that I have had in my life have lead by Motivatine me. Lead by example, Inspired me, been a team player. Coached me through good and bad times. Had a vision for me and my work. Been a friend. Let me be me.
I make sure that I am there early before class so that they understand that early mean on time and on time means they are late. I also make sure I am using professional words and discussing issues that I disagree with in a professional manner. This way it tells the student it is okay to disagree but let's do it professionally while not attacking emotionally. I try to talk to each person individually and respond to them as individuals. I motivate them by telling them I expect more from them because I believer that they can do better. I notice that this approach really works. They try harder and they are rewarded because the extra effort causes them to get better at the subject and then that builds confidence in them.
Marjorie,
Thanks for sharing this. What are some things you do to position yourself to have a mentor's influence on your students?
Jeffrey Schillinger
On the business aspect of my life, my mentor was a CEO of a company that I worked for and I think that the biggest influence he had on me was in my way of thinking with regards to the expectations that I had of my employees. I personally was a very black and white thinking and doing kind of Chef and I would hold my employees to a very black and white way of doing things, what did this leave me?.....employees who although they enjoyed the work, they however did not enjoy me as their boss. It was then that my "mentor" advised me to learn to manage the "grey" areas and that I should realize that my employees came from a different background than myself, they also probably did not have my level of education or work experience and therefore how could I expect them to think and perform as I do. This completely changed the way in which I interacted with my employees. I learned to see each person as an individual with varying ways in which I could and should communicate and interact with them. The results after a time were very rewarding to the employees as well as myself.I was less stressed, the individuals understood their role in the operation, it raised their morale and they became more productive with better quality of product. This is also true as I continue to learn how to educate my adult learners.....
Look at each student as an individual
Learn about each individual, how do they best receive the information that I deliver.
Some students require more of my time than others
Some are the leaders and welcome more responsibility, others are the followers and therefore require more flexibility from me.
As I continue to "teach" each of my students it is important for me to also continue to "learn" from each of them. In doing so I believe I will be more successfull as an instructor, coach and mentor myself.
I find this thread to be particularly hard to write about. I really didn't have much of mentors in my life. I had my mom that basically never gave up. Whenever we were in the lowest point that I could think of she was positive. She told me that there is always a way, we just have to look for it. That being said, I have followed that advice for all my life. I do not give up. I keep going. It took me 10 years to get my BA and 3 years to get my MBA and another 2 years to get my PhD but I got it. I trully believe that if I want something bad enough there is nothing that can stop me. I just have to figure out another way.
My Grandfather was one of my mentors. He was an honest, fair, caring man who I NEVER heard say anything bad about anyone. He knew that you shouldn't waste energy on negativity, instead, focus on positive things and help others. The other mentor I have is a friend I work with, she is very upbeat, funny and exlemplifies the open and honest instructor who cares about the students.
Sharon,
Many of your peers mention parents or grandparents. Your one of the first who mentioned a sibling. It is nice to hear.
Jeffrey Schillinger
I have told my sister Nancy for years now that she is my mentor. Nancy is a teacher and even before I ever considered teaching I had been learning from her how to encourage and impact the lives of others.
One mentor in particular had an effect on how I deal with angry students. He always said, generally speaking, when someone is upset and voicing their concerns in a challening manner, try to concentrate on what they are saying, and not so much how they are saying to get to the root problem.
Lana,
What is one behavior or trait you feel is a must in order for a teacher to become a mentor?
Jeffrey Schillinger
