What I always try to do is to focus on the other person conversation, wait until he/she finishes and paraphrase what he/she just said in order to understand the other person and relay to what is saying.
I think I need to practice retaining my ideas and thoughts until the other speaker is done speaking. I also feel like I get too hung up on "what if I forget?" I have to keep in mind, that if what I need to say is truly important, I won't forget it, and if I do forget it by the time it is my turn to talk, then it wasn't that important in the first place, and other more influential ideas will come to mind to replace it.
Lisa, thank you for sharing this. This is great awareness. So what are some things you could put in place to help with this listening barrier?
Dr. Jean Norris
I have trouble waiting until the person I'm speaking to is done speaking before I respond. If they say something that triggers a "brilliant" response from me, I sometimes blurt it out in fear I'll forget it but ends up interrupting the person speaking, and I know that is rude. I always apologize for the action, but I know I need to work on controlling it in the first place.
Great job Erin. You now have a plan to help move past the listening barriers. Good luck.
Dr. Jean Norris
I will also use the 'listening trap' exercise to learn to be a better listener. My mind is usually going a million different directions. I will practice and apply blocking out distractions so that I can focus on the student's needs/wants.
Scott, using students' names can be a powerful and meaningful tool. I like that you are also learning something about them so you can connect with them when you see them. This is just another way to build rapport and trust with your students. Great job.
Dr. Jean Norris
I like to be personable with students. I try to learn their names so that anytime I see them I can give them a proper greeting. I feel like this automatically gives a student a dose of comfort.
From personal experience when I was in school, I always loved it when teachers greeted me by my first name. To me this was a sign that they are willing to listen to me effectively which always does wonders because you know you can always go back to them anytime you needed to talk.
Chloe,
Great insight. It also is important to remember that they still have things to discover so allowing them to talk through things helps them process essential decision elements.
Dr. Jean Norris
I am sometimes guilty of cutting off the student while they are talking. I usually know what they are going to say so i have my answer ready. I need to remember this is the students first time and I should listen and wait for my turn to speak.
Brittany,
Thanks for the response! I'm curious, how will you know when to use repeat, rephrase or reflect? These are 3 distinct tools that should be chosen carefully.
Dr. Jean Norris
Hi Jean,
Actions that I will take to improve listening is to practice the 3 levels of active listening: Internal, focused, and global. Then I will concentrate on incorporating repeat, rephrase, reflect into my interviews so that I can build trust with the prospective student.
Joseph, that is a great point. By taking the time to listent to others, you can truly start to empathize with them. This will help you start to build a relationship with them.
Dr. Jean Norris
It is important to be an active listener.
Focusing on what the person in front of you is saying instead of trying to problem solve their issue, is important.
Brian, this is great and honest insight here Brian. So now that you are aware of this, the next step is to have an action plan. What is the first step you will do to improve your empathetic listening?
Dr. Jean Norris
I tend to be somewhat cold and callus in the empathetic and sympathetic listening departments. By nature I am a tenacious problem solver and sometimes cannot understand why some people let certain obstacles get in their way. This is probably the area where I could benefit the most in improving.
Great awareness, Jenny. It can be difficult to stop yourself from jumping in too soon with an answer, especially when you've heard similar questions before. What's important is remember that each of your students has their own unique story and even though they may ask the same questions from time to time, the reasoning behind the question is different.
Shannon Gormley
Because i work at a trade school that only teaches one single trade, i get asked the same questions over and over and over again...i fall into a trap of cutting people off because i know what they are going to ask. I need to treat each person as an individual and remember that even though i deal with the same questions everyday, the prospective student is asking it for the very first time :)
Wade,
Being present sounds so easy and yet it can be very difficult when you're assisting multiple students and even colleagues. What are some of the techniques that you'll plan to use to increase your ability to be "present" in the moment?
Shannon Gormley
I will practice being "present" in the moment. This ability to completely focus could dramatically improve my personal abily to listed.
