In a leadership training I had one of the topics was called " be here now." it discussed that very issue of mind wondering and the effort it takes to really pay attention to what is going on " right now."
You can limit your listening by listening to respond instead of listening to understand.
I have also dealt with this issue. I try to train my reps on 80% listening and 20% talking. This can be difficult however will be accomplished with time
It's sometimes difficult to quiet that 'inner voice', isn't it? What do you think you can do to focus on the person and stay present with what they are saying?
I feel I limit my listening due to my own thought process. It's hard for me to turn off my internal listening. I find myself often thinking about what I will say next while the other person is speaking.
Thank you for sharing Nathan. I'm curious, what can you do to clear your 'busy filter' before a conversation to focus on the person and what they are saying?
I agree with Shan. There are time when I limit my listening because I feel that I am busy and need to tend to other things. I'm hoping that I can fix this and learn to listen deeply even when neck deep in other tasks to do.
That's one of the classic barriers to listening so know that you are not alone! You've achieved the first step for overcoming this habit by being aware that you are doing it. You would be surprised how many times people solve their own problems if we don't provide them with a quick response. How do you think you can help yourself focus on what the person is saying rather than creating the response?
I would have to agree, but then you will hear, and generated an answer that will fit the student needs, and stay within the boundaries of the school limitations,so reflecting and repeating what the student is telling you is very important.
I listen very closely but, often time, I am thinking of how to answers to resolve the problem you are presenting to me with your questions.
I have a tendency to let my own bias come into play while listening. Remembering that people are not cookie cuts is something that I have been struggling with.
That's great self-awareness Mitch. How can you 'tweak' your listening to be more focused on your students?
Dr. Jean Norris
I have tendencies to listen to what i am thinking about in my mind and what my next question will be for the student.
I firmly believe the best way to avoid not listening intently to our students is to take ourselves and our needs out of the picture and only focus on what the student needs. As counselors we need to forget our goals and really pay attention to the student and their desires. If we do this we will always do what is best for the student. This is our moto at our college. What is best for the student?
I try to take down notes while the student is talking and I inform them ahead of time that I may be writing briefly. I do this because I found myself trying to remember to go back to a certain point they made to say what I needed to say and in the process I could miss the rest of their thoughts. Once they are done I can recap what they have said and then give them the information they need point by point.
I am sometimes guilty of "problem solving" before hearing the entire issue. Having a full plate sometimes contributes to this and I guess it's also a little bit of a "been there, done that mentality" While I have often been OK, it has at times served to my detriment.
Juan, that is a great point. There are a lot of times when there may be groups of people that speak different languages. So, I am curious, what have you done in the past in order to help with that?
Dr. Jean Norris
Sometimes language barriers cause communication limitations
When conversing with students' it is my own inner checklist that limits listening to the student. My intention is to make sure that they are properly informed, however I am missing the mark on listening and asking intentional questions to identify their motivation. This is an area I am going to work on.
I worry too much about the information I think I 'need' to provide the other person. Then I either stop listening like I should or even interrupt.
