I often fall into the trap of being impatient in my listening. Another trap Im guilty of is allowing outside distractions to set in. The goal now is to be focused and understanding.
I am often listening for facts with my students, just to move them on to the next point. I also formulate my response while someone is speaking to me in general. This is something that I know I need to work on- to actively listen to truly hear what the other person is telling me, rather than deciding that I know what they are going to say or deciding what I am going to say before they finish.
I would say one way is that I tend to make a judgement someone's view of the world and in essence judge their experiences when they have a particular viewpoint. I also tend to not socialize to begin with when it comes to particular individuals or groups of people because I know I will not actively listen.
Many times I am formulating my response instead of fully listening to what is being said.
I limit my listening by sometimes losing my concentration when listening to a student. I forget to clean my slate or filter. I am listening, but also thinking of other things. This is because we all try to multitask too much each day.I need to set everything aside, clear my head and focus on the person in front of me and listen.
Jaclyn, absolutely and we have all been there. So now that you have this awareness, what are some steps you can put in place to be able to focus more?
Dr. Jean Norris
Distractions like the phones ringing, other students and faculty walking in the office limit listening. It can get difficult to stay focused on the student you are sitting with at times.
Corynne, that sounds like a great plan!
Dr. Jean Norris
I will take away all outside distractions, and stop myself from focusing on one point by reminding myself that I may miss critical information by not listening. If I happen to miss something, Ill ask questions.
Corynne, thanks for sharing this. It happens to all of us. So now that you have this awareness, what steps will you take to focus on the full conversation?
Dr. Jean Norris
Sometimes when someone is speaking with me, my mind will wander off on one point the other person has brought up, and instead of focusing on hearing the rest of what they say, I will be thinking about the point they made that stuck in my head, and how i will respond to it. Instead, I can completely focus on everything the other person is saying, and wait to choose a focal point or a response until they have completed everything they had to say.
Robert, this is great awareness and so now that you know this, you can create a plan to move forward. Tell me, what would be your first step?
Dr. Jean Norris
when I lose focus on what is being said in the conversation. Sometimes it's due to not being a topic that interest me. Then there are times when I'm distracted by what's going around me. I also have to reconize that feeling as though I want to get my opinion in rather than listening to what is being said and not taking it has an attack.
Clay, this is a popular one and I appreciate your honesty here. So now that you are aware of this, what steps will you take to overcome this?
Dr. Jean Norris
Diane, that's great awareness. So my question to you is what steps are you taking to improve this focus?
Dr. Jean Norris
I sometimes limit listening skills when I think I already know what the other person is asking. Sometimes if someone tends to ramble on, I may get impatient and "tune out".
I do realize that I have to use a focused approached with certain students. I tend to zone out when I am communicating with "long-winded" people. I am Constantly striving to improve this within myself.
David, thank you for sharing this. This is a common limitation, but it sounds like you have a plan to move forward. Great job.
Dr. Jean Norris
I sometimes have a tendency to anticipate a the finish to a question prior to waiting for the end. This is an area that I continue to improve by being more patient with both internal and external customers.
Kathy, that is a great point. It is always helpful to put yourself in their shoes. Tell me, what is your plan in order to focus on the student and move past the limitations?
Dr. Jean Norris
